It took some time, but I’ve finally seen Patrick Still Lives, the non-authorized sequel to the ozploitation classic Patrick. And as you can guess by the title, he still lives in this movie. Why I haven’t seen this is probably because the unrated version is so expensive. The US DVD is OOP since long, but recently I found a new European release which looks legit - and without stating it on the cover includes the uncut version. Yay! Producer Gabriele Crisanti obviously had a taste for the trashy and sadistic in movies and is also the man behind the notorious very sleazy and violent Giallo a Venezia and the utterly amazing zombie epic Burial Ground. All three starring Mariangela Giordano, who might not be that proud over this period in her career. I actually texted Jocke, the legend behind Rubbermonsterfetishism, this important question:
Good answer I think, and it very clearly points out what Patrick Still Lives is. But what’s the STORY? Well well… you know, I hate writing recaps. But I think it’s something like this:
Patrick falls into a coma during a very fast pre-credit sequence, in a car accident, and ends up at a clinic. He’s one of those scary comatose persons who always have his eyes open, staring into the abyss of madness. And he - I don’t know why - decides to kill off some other people in and around this countryside clinic, by the most gruesome methods his braindead brain can imagine! Ta ta!
Patrick Still Lives is a series of violent deaths, nudity, sleazy and badly written dialogue performed by actors no better than those in the porn business which is considered good actors. I’m fully aware you can blame these “interesting” performances on the script and the filmmakers and as a pro-watcher of eurocult it’s really nothing strange. Except it’s bad. But like Burial Ground it’s hard to look away from the craziness. Everything is so inept, so totally unstylish it works in it’s own confined space of silly filmmaking. It might be crap but it’s not boring at all, even if it never comes up in the same entertainment value as Burial Ground.
The set-piece of the show is the infamous scene where Mariangela bites the dust, which is as spectacular as in in Giallo a Venezia and Burial Ground. Sometimes I think she’s the Daria Nicolodi of Dario Argento or Daniela Doria of Lucio Fulci, a death muse of the producer or director, a mascot with the sole intention to be killed or in some other way get into deep, bloody trouble. Here she have the honor of getting some kind of spear right up her vagina, through her body and out through the mouth. A very not-so-classy way to die, and also - because it’s incredibly graphic - extremely sleazy.
This is what I love about Italian genre films, they never, NEVER know when to stop! In the rest of the world (maybe not Japan or Hong Kong) there’s a line where a scene stops, but just when you think it will cut to something else in Italian film it just goes on and on and on and on and on, even if the special effect in the end really doesn’t look that realistic. But it’s the thought that counts. At least that what my mom always said.
I would be a liar if I said Patrick Still Lives is a good movie, but if you want your sleaze, gore and stupidity in one confused mess, this is the film for you!