Childhood fragments of fear...

It must have been early eighties, maybe '83. My parents was divorced by then and I spent one weekend every month at my father's apartment in Västerås. The same apartment he still live. Some things never changes. We sat in a taxi and I was asking questions about the sunroof. I wanted to open it. Outside I could see how familiar locations transformed into places I never been to. It was exciting. 

"Sunroof's is dangerous", my father explain to me. "I had a friend once, he worked at the same place as me. He had a car with sunroof and he died". He talked to the taxidriver, who politely listened to his ramblings. I asked for more. I wanted to know more. How did he die? My father seemed a bit uncomfortable talking about it, but after a couple of minutes he told me. To my horror.

His friend, whoever this was - I never dared to ask him again about it - was driving his car and decided to joke around. He opened the sunroof, stuck his head up, lost control over the car and got decapited when the sunroof cover shot out and instantly killed him. 

I was terrified. Now I realize it might just had been a story to scare me, to make me not play with things like that. But it was still exciting. Gory. Violent. Forbidden. We arrived at my dad's friends place. He lived in a villa outside the town. I remember it to be made of brown bricks and surrounded by common juniper's. My dad and his pal poured themself some alcholic beverages and started to watch a movie, from video - which was very rare at the time.

A woman stood in a living room. I remember the colours orange and brown a lot. She was listening to something. It was all quite. Behind her was a stair that lead up to a balcony that lead to a door. Indoors, everything. Suddenly she heard something. Something went bump up there. Slowly she started to climb the stairs, never leaving the door up there with her sight...

I was petrified of terror. My father noticed this and asked his friend if he had something more child-friendly. He laughed and took out the tape. Instead he inserted By The Sea, starring The Two Ronnies, a British comedy classic. It felt better at the time, but I'm still looking for that unknown horror movie they watched. It felt like a TV-movie. For a while I thought it was the 1973 classicDon't Be Afraid of the Dark, but after seeing it I'm sure it wasn't that one. 

Maybe one day I'll know what was up there, the thing that went bump in the night...

Comments

[Megatron]

"I was terrified. Now I realize it might just had been a story to scare me, to make me not play with things like that."

Childpsychology 101.....hahahaha.....but at the same time....I heard several similiar stories as a child.

I got scared too.

"For a while I thought it was the 1973 classicDon't Be Afraid of the Dark, but after seeing it I'm sure it wasn't that one."

Yeah, don´t you just hate when that happens.....?

Something you saw as a child...and later on can´t identify....

Great essay and thanks.

[gk]

really cool essay. I'm really liking this new site and your writing style seems to be a lot more relaxed and laid back too. Cheers!

[Fred Anderson]

Thanks!
I've thrown away all the pressure (from myself) to write about all shit I see. The last months at Ninja Dixon I got a writers block from this.
So I feel more relaxed also :)