Sometimes I think the sole reason for my existence in this world is to watch stuff that you out there never will take your time to watch. Because, yeah... it's more fun to talk about a three hour TV-disaster mini-series with Barbara Eden and Stuart Whitman than actually take time to see it your see it yourself, don't you agree? Yeah, I know you agree with me - but you don't dare to admit it!
Well, for years I searched for Condominium. It was aired only once, in 1980, and is one of the last rare disaster movies I've missed. Finally, last year, it showed up on the net in what looks to be a fifth generation copy. Someone recorded it in 1980 and probably put that tape in a box in the attic until some grandchild found it, decided it was cool to upload somewhere and here it is. Finally. Then it took me at least six months to see it, because a disaster soap starring Barbara Eden in terrible, terrible quality isn't something I prefer to see every day. I don't mind Barbara Eden or disaster soaps of course, but hey... the quality is outrageous!
Anyway, when the cat is out the rats dances on the tables as we say in Sweden, and tonight I took the brave chance to watch it. All three, long hours. Was it worth it? Hang on there and let's see...
At a luxery condominium by the sea all hell breaks loose when bad business suddenly makes the cost of living three times as expensive as the initial promise. A unscrupulous businessman (Stuart Whitman of course!) takes the chance to fuck around a little bit and decides to build an EXACT copy of the other building nearby. Suddenly our heroes have super-expensive apartments AND no exclusive right to the bay anymore. Life is tough for rich fuckers. So from now on, for two hours, we follow the inhabitants in the condo. From the super-rich old man with his young trophy wife wife, the middle-aged republican and his aggressive Italian wife, the hunky hero with his mentally unstable wife and of course the douchebag man with his submissive wife and a bunch of other man/wife combo's and then we see them talk and talk and talk and talk.... without knowing that a storm is coming closer! What will happen? Is the rumours true about the construction of the condo apartment complex? Will it collapse when the hurrican hits? Will they be able to finish their drinks before it's too late?!
Oh, this is one mega-soap. Believe me. And I loved every boring minute of it! There's so much soapish intrigue, so much toupés and hair extensions, shallow characters and clichéd dialogue that it's very hard not to fucking adore it! Because strangely enough it never seems that long. The pacing is fine, the actors are good and in-between all the elderly ex-stars slumming in yet another TV-productions there's a fine TV-drama. Yeah. I'm not kidding. Sure, it's silly as hell. But there's something touching with these dreamers, these innocent rich people believing this house is the sole important place in the world. It's like watching scifi. Absurd, but somehow totally believable. It even have a very unexpected lesbian twist during the last half - and the assholes get what they deserves! Like Devin Kelly wrote on Facebook today, why must there always be a drunken party just when the hurrican hits? It's the same thing in Jan Troell's 1979 fiasco The Hurricane. Why not take the bottle and pretend like nothing is happening when shit hit the fan... sounds like a good plan to me.
Yeah I know. The DISASTER. I'm coming to that now. It's of course the highlight of the show. Most of the second half is focused on the storm and the destruction. A lot of stock footage, but pretty well edited into the rest of the material (but the quality could have fooled me, everything looks like crap in the version I found!). But like all good disaster they have some excellent miniatures collapsing at the end. It's always hard to make water look okay in a miniature setting, but here it looks fine - and the final piece of destruction could have been a part of a bigger Hollywood movie from the same time. Some blood also!
Condominium is a mini-series for us who loves and craves old-style disaster productions. I wish this could find its way to disc or download, but restored and with stellar quality. I doubt that will ever be, but stranger thing's have happen so far in our mysterious world. And remember, everything with Stuart Whitman is worth watching.
That's a fact.
And yeah, I put two clips up on Vine. Here they are:
"Sometimes I think the sole reason for my existence in this world is to watch stuff that you out there never will take your time to watch. Because, yeah... it's more fun to talk about a three hour TV-disaster mini-series with Barbara Eden and Stuart Whitman than actually take time to see it your see it yourself, don't you agree? Yeah, I know you agree with me - but you don't dare to admit it!"
NO, YOU ARE WRONG!!!!!
hahahahhahahah....damn it, ninja......I have a life too, there is only 24/7.......but one day.......ya´know.
And I have some of the film you mentioned, like The Stone Tape(TV 1972), It's Alive(2008) etc.
Both very entertaining, even though I do prefer It's Alive(1974), the remake is way more entertaining.
"Oh, this is one mega-soap. Believe me. And I loved every boring minute of it! There's so much soapish intrigue, so much toupés and hair extensions, shallow characters and clichéd dialogue that it's very hard not to fucking adore it!"
Yeah, but that´s why we love these films......just look at The Towering Inferno (1974), Earthquake (1974) etc.
"It's the same thing in Jan Troell's 1979 fiasco The Hurricane."
OH NO YOU DIDN´T......did you just namedrop that old flick..?
Please do a review of Zandy's Bride (1974) a another , Troell, US production, uneven but very nice.
"It's always hard to make water look okay in a miniature setting, but here it looks fine - and the final piece of destruction could have been a part of a bigger Hollywood movie from the same time. Some blood also!"
But sometimes the SFX guys just amaze you......when I saw Beasts of the Southern Wild(2012)not that long ago, I was tricked by the miniatures, and some water, add some fake ice, and the illusion was complete.
"Condominium is a mini-series for us who loves and craves old-style disaster productions. I wish this could find its way to disc or download, but restored and with stellar quality. I doubt that will ever be, but stranger thing's have happen so far in our mysterious world. And remember, everything with Stuart Whitman is worth watching.
That's a fact."
You never know......great review and thanks Fred.....I might see it someday.
Posted by: Megatron | June 08, 2013 at 23:24
Based on the book by John D MacDonald, author of the Travis McGee series of books. A recurring theme of his writing was the environmental impact on Florida from over development and this was in the 1960s!
I'm sure I saw this on the tv in the UK back when it first came out.
Posted by: Dougie Lloyd-Baker | February 25, 2015 at 20:01