Back Woods (Grant Woodhill, 2001)

I can cope with most movies. Yeah, really. You who have read my reviews over the years knows I'm a very forgiving critic. I love when people make movies, just the thought of it gives me a rush of energy. So it's a pity that some people just takes a camera, goes out on the woods and think they can make a movie and actually sell it. 

That's the problem with Back Woods. On the back of the DVD the text brags "With the depraved mind of John Waters and the filmmaking talents of Ed Wood comes Back Woods". There' two wrongs with this quote:

1. John Waters is actually smart and witty. Not just depraved.

2. Ed Wood clearly had real talents. Don't compare you with someone who's way superior.

I know Back Woods is a comedy, a horror comedy. Or let me rephrase that, "comedy". I guess you meant to be a spoof, something to not take too seriously. Which is fine, I love that. I'm a big fan of movies like Wacko and Student Bodies, or Nothing Is Out There or Scream. Movies that poke fun at the conventions of slasher and horror cinema. But why the hell doesn't you care about making a real movie? Why not actually work with the camera as a storytelling device? 

The talents who made this movie just picked up the camera, pointed it at the right (eh, almost...) diretion and let some extremely unfunny and untalented actors improvise their dialogue. And why bother to make gore when you don't even bother to shoot it good? 

Back Woods is made by people who's ashamed of liking horror movies. Who's ashamed of making silly flicks on zero budget. Who's ashamed of themselves. To look bad, or to get bad reviews - becuse Back Woods is made in such a way that they can defend themselve: "Oh, it's made to be bad! It's a bad movie! Hahaha. We knew it all the time and you can critize us for that!". 

Morons.

I found Back Woods in the best little movie store in Stockholm, second hand of course, for a price of pocket change. But the thing is that the DVD is signed by the main actor, David Hayes (who has some kind of indie-career today, I'll admit that). Imagine you have a signed DVD, maybe something you got in person, and it's so bad you don't wanna own it anymore.

That's how bad, boring, humorless and pointless Back Woods is. Avoid. Or just seek up the filmmakers and give them a hard slap in the face. 

Comments

[Megatron]

"I can cope with most movies. Yeah, really. You who have read my reviews over the years knows I'm a very forgiving critic. I love when people make movies, just the thought of it gives me a rush of energy."

One should have a forgiving side....

"1. John Waters is actually smart and witty. Not just depraved."

Yeah, he is very sharp, and witty as hell.

"To look bad, or to get bad reviews - becuse Back Woods is made in such a way that they can defend themselve: "Oh, it's made to be bad! It's a bad movie! Hahaha. We knew it all the time and you can critize us for that!"."

Could be some sort of selfdefense mechanism......?

"That's how bad, boring, humorless and pointless Back Woods is. Avoid. Or just seek up the filmmakers and give them a hard slap in the face."

No, of course not......I will see it, maybe not just now.....ahhahhahahhah......ehhh....good(?) review and thanks.