Every time
I enter Germany it strikes me it’s so sad, so grey. Of course I’ve only been in
Düsseldorf in the evening and during the day in exotic places like Bottrop and
now Oberhausen. The old people feels old, really gold, dragging their atrophied
limbs through rainy streets, looking at us young people (in comparison) with suspicion
in their somber eyes. It’s like this country never left the eighties, with the
cheesy colorful store signs, mullets and stonewashed jeans on overweight
middle-aged men with bags under their eyes.
The sole reason why I expose myself to this is Weekend of Horrors. This three day geekend jam-packed with working, fading and new stars and filmmakers, DVD- and Blu-ray dealers selling their stuff over long tables – and never enough change. The best way to make a salesman look sad even on the second or third day is to give them a 50 or 100 euro bill. The same sadness that’s in my eyes when I’ve spent 80 euro on Edgar Wallace boxes and a Blu-ray of Gallowwalkers.
So who goes to this convention? In five words: big guys with small wives. Lots of them, everywhere. With big guys I don’t necessary mean fat guys, most of them are tall, with long hair and black clothes. Their wives with pale faces and red lipstick. I guess that’s basically the German horror community. Then there are the foreigners, like me, Jason and Jocke from Sweden. Always with backpacks, always with big bills because we normally don’t have small money. And it’s always the same, the guest stars (aka “stargäste”) gets SO surprised we actually have travelled from another country to meet them. But that’s what we do when our own country never offers the same amount of geekery. The third form of visitors is those dressed like horror characters. We met two Pinheads, at least three Leatherfaces, one of those ghosts from Silent Hill, the pig from Saw, The Toxic Avenger (who worked for one of the dealers, ’84 Entertainment), the killer from Seed and of course a small army of Jasons.
Did you
know that the only thing people eat in Germany is meat and sugar? And beer of
course, but drinking it – except if it’s not already mixed into different form
of sausages. This time we lived in Oberhausen, but I still dreams to the years
on Bottrop when I could eat pepper beef at Dragans or a mixed plate of meat and
fries at the serial killer (long story, but we’re all sure he’s serving human
meat in that restaurant and having a torture chamber on top of it!). Still good
food, and that’s what matters. This year we spent two evenings at La Pampa,
which is one of many very similar steakhouses. I chose the “Balkan Steak”,
which was a big piece of meat with cheese inside. I’m sure I planted my future heart
attack from that meal. During the second evening the waiter also told us he was
from Sweden, from Malmö, and we could make the orders in our mother language
(well, Jason is British – a northerner, but more or less Swedish anyway!).
There are two highlights for me: the frantic shopping of movies and the star guests. The new location this year was Turbinenhalle, a huge ex-factory complex, now a club area with concert halls and bars in every corner. I think we walked many miles during those days. Deep inside are the DVDs and Blu-rays, table after table packed with strange German releases – oddities you never heard of before and here and there local filmmakers selling their own movies. I can’t even remember what movies I bought now, not in detail, but the stand-out must have been the Jess Franco DVD signed by both Lina Romay and Jess Franco. I’m usually not interested in signed stuff by someone I haven’t met, but none of them are with us today and that’s the closest I’ll ever get to my favorite filmmaker and his muse. You have to beware though, the Germans still cut their movies like never before. They love censorship. You think they should have learned from history, but they haven’t started to burn books yet. Good for them.
Weekend of Horror always have good guest, and their pretend-o-guests are even better. The pretend-o-guests are those they aim to get, but in the end – often quite early, but without telling their visitors – can’t get. This year it was, once again, Malcolm McDowall. And thirteen other people. Danny Glover isn’t even a horror icon, but it would have been cool to have McDowall sign Tinto Brass Caligula or even Kimberly Beck scribbling down a couple of words on my Friday the 13th Part 4 DVD.
But don’t misunderstand me, I also met and talked with a couple of wonderful guest. Lori Cardille and Joe Pilato from Day of the Dead were there and they were wonderful people, I even got a kiss from Lori – which I will carry with me for a long while. I’ve heard some bad stuff about Pilato, that he’s rude or drunk or whatever – but like Linda Blair the last year, he was a great, friendly person. I chatted a bit with Heather Donahue from The Blair Witch Project and bought her book Growgirl. Her career waned quite quickly and she changed direction completely, becoming a pot farmer! Danny Hicks (from Evil Dead and Intruder) was also there, nice guy – and I had the pleasure to both meet Jörg Buttgereit and Olaf Ittenbach on the floor!
There are moments in life you know you will never experience again, and this weekend had several of them. I met Haruo Nakajima four times. Who the hell is that? Well, let me tell you:
HE'S GODZILLA!
Nakajima was the original man-in-suit, from 1954 to the early 70’s. Looking frail and a bit shaky at the table, having his daughter (I think) and a translator help him find the right spot on the stuff he was signing, but in front of the camera – during the photo shoot – he shined like star, straight back, glimmering eyes and grabbing on to use like we was family. He signed the Criterion Godzilla Blu-ray for me, a photo of him and the suit, my Ultra Q DVD box and a Hong Kong DVD of Submersion of Japan. He also signed the photo of me and him. I’m not religious, but I feel blessed. His work as an actor means a lot to me.
I had one more mission, and that was to hook up with Lance Henriksen a third time. So 12:00 on Sunday I went up to the photo shoot, took a photo with the guy and I planned to had it signed later. And then I waited and waited and waited… but my photo with him never appeared. Soon the time was four in the afternoon and I decided I didn’t want to wait anymore. Pissed off and disappointed I left the building, walked around the corner… and then Jason looked up and said “There he is!”. Yes, Lance was standing on a balcony above us. Jason dragged me up the metal staircase and I explained the situation to my favorite actor – and of course, because he’s the friendliest guy in the world, he posed with me when Jason took a new photo.
In the end felt a lot better than taking a photo with him with one hundred people behind me wanting to do the same thing.
The bad things? Except that I never got that expensive photo with Lance I paid for, I would say Michael Biehn obviously cared more about heroine injections than the fans – he also behaved quite badly. During the Friday he just sat by his table for fifteen minutes and suddenly, before the Lance Henriksen-shoot on Sunday he told his handlers he refused to take photos with the fans… but later obviously regret that and came up to the photo place. He looks sick though, completely yellow. Sad, very sad. But I can have some understanding for someone who seems to have an addiction problem, at least such a serious one. The one I didn’t have any understanding for was the very annoying, embarrassing and constantly drunk Andrew Bryniarski. When he didn’t screamed and yelled at people – not anything rude, but it was very irritating, he obviously sneaked out in the back, smoked some weed and drank a lot of beer from time to time, stumbling around like a big baby. Grow up, Leatherface. Please.
Now it’s a year to the next Weekend of Horrors. I might have felt homesick like hell yesterday, and I love being back in good old Sweden… but I still can’t wait until I’m back in the German geekocalypse in Oberhausen, getting completely worked up because of some fading star said something nice to me or finishing up a good plate of meat.
Well, that’s actually secondary things. The best thing, the no. 1 thing, is to hang out with Cinezilla’s Jason Meredith and Rubbermonsterfetishism’s Joachim Andersson once again. Buddies rule, they rule a lot more than buying movies and getting stuff signed.
/Fred
damn. this sounds like so much fun. awesome article.
Posted by: gk | November 11, 2013 at 13:23
"Every time I enter Germany it strikes me it’s so sad, so grey. Of course I’ve only been in Düsseldorf"
Düsseldorf.....I thought that was the industrial city of Germany but Wikipedia claims something else.....
"But that’s what we do when our own country never offers the same amount of geekery."
Yeah but thing are changing.... a little bit, like that Monsters of Film festival....it could grow to something bigger.
"or a mixed plate of meat and fries at the serial killer (long story, but we’re all sure he’s serving human meat in that restaurant and having a torture chamber on top of it!)."
What...????!!!!
hahhahhahahha...I demand an essay about this guy!
"I chose the “Balkan Steak”, which was a big piece of meat with cheese inside. I’m sure I planted my future heart attack from that meal."
Hmm.....that reminds me of some steaks I´ve eaten......hell, if you are going to die from something it shouldn´t be malnutrition, remember that Fred.
"I can’t even remember what movies I bought now, not in detail,"
I will be looking forward to the reviews.
"You have to beware though, the Germans still cut their movies like never before. They love censorship. You think they should have learned from history, but they haven’t started to burn books yet. Good for them."
I think they do it because of the wrong reasons.......they want protect the german people from bad influences by censoring everything.....it won´t work.....Hitler was inspired by Wagner.
Wagner was an antisemite(some of his racist views popped up in his works)but I don´t see Germany censoring Wagner.....
"but it would have been cool to have McDowall sign Tinto Brass Caligula"
I´m not so sure he would sign it...hahhahahhahahha....but who knows?
"I chatted a bit with Heather Donahue from The Blair Witch Project and bought her book Growgirl. Her career waned quite quickly and she changed direction completely, becoming a pot farmer!"
Ehhh....what now?
So her book is an autobiography?
Post a review please!
"He also signed the photo of me and him. I’m not religious, but I feel blessed. His work as an actor means a lot to me."
The smile on your face, say´s it all....
http://youtu.be/nfv2-IpsjFs
"Jason dragged me up the metal staircase and I explained the situation to my favorite actor – and of course, because he’s the friendliest guy in the world, he posed with me when Jason took a new photo. In the end felt a lot better than taking a photo with him with one hundred people behind me wanting to do the same thing."
I´m not surprised by that.....felt more personal, right?
I hardly recognized him on that top photo....older now...but he is still the man.
"I would say Michael Biehn obviously cared more about heroine injections than the fans – he also behaved quite badly."
I read on the internet that he had been an alcoholic for years.
Sad news, I think.....he had/has talents.
"He looks sick though, completely yellow. Sad, very sad. But I can have some understanding for someone who seems to have an addiction problem, at least such a serious one."
Yeah....by your description Biehn might not be with us for that much longer.
It sounds like livercirrhos....
"The one I didn’t have any understanding for was the very annoying, embarrassing and constantly drunk Andrew Bryniarski."
I´m not surprised by that.....look at the extras on the Any Given Sunday(1999)DVD.....aggressive, loudmouth, maybe he has some kind of diagnos?
"Grow up, Leatherface. Please."
I had no idea he was Leatherface nowadays...
"Well, that’s actually secondary things. The best thing, the no. 1 thing, is to hang out with Cinezilla’s Jason Meredith and Rubbermonsterfetishism’s Joachim Andersson once again. Buddies rule, they rule a lot more than buying movies and getting stuff signed."
Awwwwwww.....how cute....great essay/recap.....you are a lucky bastard.....thanks Fred.
Posted by: Megatron | November 11, 2013 at 18:57