Carolyn Banks is a 70+ lady who makes movies in Texas, which by itself is awesome. The problem is that she completely lacks talent.
Invicta is now called Killer Ants, because no one would buy a movie called Invicta - what the hell is that by the way? Yeah, it's something ant-related. So the distributor just retitled the movie Killer Ants and made spectacular artwork with a chick being attacked by giant ants. Just look at it!
Doesn't that look fun? It's not.
You can't blame Carolyn Banks and her team of actors for that, of course, but you can blame them for doing something completely lacking of talent. And even worse, there's not even an ounce of ambition or enthusiasm! Imagine the worst kind of community theater acting, but add a little bit more scene chewing and a no charisma whatsoever. Oh, and the main baddie looks like he haven't slept for around 15 years OR he thinks he's the fat dude in all those Buster Keaton shorts from the roaring 20s.
The worst thing is of course that the killer ant part of Killer Ants is more or less nothing at all. It's more a rural drama about a young couple who can't have children (because she's taking pills in secret) and - I think - the guy meets a new girls and there's the non-sleeping guy being some ant-scientist-ish being doing something for some reason never fully explored. So there's no awesome scenes of ants attack, not cheesy but fun special effects and really nothing at all to be enjoyed by. The most insane scene is the thrilling final where the young couple is tied together in a desolate place, left alone to be eaten by ants - they discuss how to save themselves, and finally they manage to break her glasses and cut the ropes with the glass. This is alright, if it wasn't for them being able to just walk away from the place. Yes, they're not tied to anything else but themselves! But it doesn't stop there. Finally they're on their way from the killer ants and walks slowly through the forest. WITHOUT ANY STRESS. Suddenly they starts discussing how to escape the ants, the MILLIONS of killer ants...
...so instead of just running - or walking a bit faster - they lay down on the ground and decides to not move, to be completely still. Because the huge amount of ants won't bite them and just walk over them. You have to understand that there's no ants around at all. So they lay down and... FIFTY FUCKING ANTS, TINY TINY ONES, comes walking over them. It takes like ten seconds and then they're safe again.
The movie ends with the queen ant biting the baddie in the eye and he screams, very loud: "THE EYE! THE FIRE ANT LOVE THE EYE!!!"
The end.
You know me. I never tell you to not watch a movie, but if you feel for watching a flick where nothing is happening and it looks like a homemade porn movie, this is the movie for you. Go ahead. Don't blame your upcoming bipolar disorder on me.
"Carolyn Banks is a 70+ lady who makes movies in Texas, which by itself is awesome. The problem is that she completely lacks talent."
hahahhahaha.....so Doris Wish.....wait.....Banks????
Never heard of her...umm......so....well, it´s never too late.
"Imagine the worst kind of community theater acting, but add a little bit more scene chewing and a no charisma whatsoever."
Community theater groups.....I´m little surprised this haven´t catched on more Sweden....ya´know, more indie filmmaking within small theater groups.
"This is alright, if it wasn't for them being able to just walk away from the place. Yes, they're not tied to anything else but themselves!"
ahhahhahahah......now that is exciting!
"The movie ends with the queen ant biting the baddie in the eye and he screams, very loud: "THE EYE! THE FIRE ANT LOVE THE EYE!!!""
ahhahhahhahahh....but how else is the audience going to understand?
Fire ants.....loves eyes!
"You know me. I never tell you to not watch a movie, but if you feel for watching a flick where nothing is happening and it looks like a homemade porn movie, this is the movie for you. Go ahead. Don't blame your upcoming bipolar disorder on me."
Awwwww....come on now....perhaps it´s not a new Phase IV (1974)but we can´t expect that.....good review and thanks, I haven´t seen this one.
Posted by: Megatron | February 15, 2014 at 16:41
Thanks for the warning! I would have looked for it based on the cover (giant tits, giant ants). I plan to avoid this now.
Posted by: docvoltage | February 21, 2014 at 15:20
You know me, I rarely tell people to avoid a movie - but this is not worth shit! :)
Posted by: Fred Anderson | February 22, 2014 at 08:05