Surprise! I write reviews from time to time, so it’s not only going to be my ramblings at the Schmollywood Babylon YouTube channel. I promise… ;)
Anyway...
It’s been one of those days today - active and busy, but still a typical sunday. And sundays are awesome. Not because a lot of people pilgrims to churches to give money to priests, pastors and whatever’s out there, feeding their life in luxury by thinking it’s for something good. Let me tell ya one thing, it’s nothing good in that, instead it’s just a way for the high and mighty to glorify themselves. But fuck them. It’s sunday and that means I’ve seen several movies, three so far - but I’m just gonna write about two of them now (the third will be the subject of the upcoming episode of The Human Centipod!).
Peter Sasdy’s The Stone Tape, written by the GENIUS Nigel Kneale (even if he hated Halloween 3 - but I forgive him!) is seriously one of the scariest TV-productions ever made. Maybe even it’s one of THE scariest movies ever made, believe me or not. Like almost all these UK productions from the 70’s you just need to accept the style of it: shot on some old-fashioned video system (I guess, I have no other explanation!), sometimes quite cheap sets and excellent actors doing their stuff like it’s on the theatre stage. Nothing wrong that, it’s like accepting the style of actors in Hong Kong or India - there’s storytelling traditions, nothing more than that. The Stone Tape is fronted by the groovy Michael Bryant and the dashing Jane Asher, both working for Ryan - an electronics company who just bought themselves a facility, an old castle/mansion/big stone house, especially to conduct experiments to find the new and cheap storage media - so even here Kneale was so before his time it’s almost silly. One day they experience a haunting, a woman appearing on top of some old stairs screaming like hell! Over and over again, the same scream, the same position. Can this be a recording? A new way of storing media, and not something supernatural?
This sets of one of the spookiest and most original ghost stories ever written and filmed. It’s very british, but that means there’s every little left to chance. It’s a very, very solid movie - as solid as the stones around the cast. There’s a lot of talking, which comes natural with these kind of productions, but what is said is also always there for a reason. Nothing is wasted. The ending a pure shocker, brilliantly directed by Sasdy (one of the finer genre directors in my humble opinions) and leaves you with a very uncomfortable feeling.
We jump a few years into the future, to 1977, when Alternative 3 was aired. It was originally meant as an April Fool’s joke that year, but due to a strike it wasn’t aired until june… which meant that it didn’t longer had a logical use as a joke. Instead it was aired and has since then alone created a conspiracy theory who’s alive and kicking even today. Tim Brinton is our host, a veteran newscaster and TV-man (and later also a member of british fascist party UKIP), which is the production’s biggest strength. Not that he was a asshole who later cuddled up with fascists, but that he was a boring, dry conservative without any sense of humour - at least on the outside. This gives Alternative 3 a shockingly effective realism. It’s not as realistic as, lets say 1992’s Ghostwatch, the acting and script is more forced, but the stiffness, the very serious tone completely lacking any kind of tongue-in-cheek, makes you believe in what you’re watching. The story yeah? It’s simple. It’s an epsiode of Science Report where they bring up the news that the UK is losing it’s greatest minds. Scientists especially are disappearing together with their families. What’s the reason behind this? Brinton and his team investigates, interviews friends and relatives, people in the business, finds some interesting footage which they during the final act manages to safe and air. And it’s out-of-this-world…
It’s fantastic premise and the storytelling is clumsy, but absolutely not bad. This is quality TV! But what’s even more bizarre is what happen the years after the first and (what I know) only airing on TV, a theory came up that what’s shown in this episode of Science Report actually is true. It’s all a cover-up! I’ve read articles on the net where people claim that it’s impossible to find a copy of it (it’s not, it’s out on DVD in the UK) and that the people involved are hard or impossile to find - not true either. People just want to believe in something. Alternative 3 is still very active in the conspiracy world (just try to google it, you will find a lot of very confused people) and it just proves how extremely effective it is as a TV-drama.
Both The Stone Tape and Alternative 3 is brilliant British TV, and a must for fans of well-written genre media. Both is out on DVD and easy to find, and there’s really no excuse for any of you for pass on these. They’re so damn good!
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