Isn't it amazing, Michele Soavi only directed (so far) four horror movies, all unique and different from each other: Stage Fright, The Sect, The Church and Cemetery Man. I’ve seen them all countless times, but the one that constantly surprises me is The Church, a movie once - it’s told - was meant to be Demons 3. Soavi himself had bigger plans and considered the Demons film to be “pizza schlock”, which it’s a great name for Italian exploitation of the eighties, don’t you think so? Why does The Church surprise me? Well, the thing is that I have a tendency to forget the whole story after every time I see it. In my mind there’s just a couple of kills inside the church, and that’s it. So when I revisit it I’m always so happy getting reminded of the great mythology in the story, the layers of horrors - and maybe most: the STUNNING visuals.
The Teutonic Order was, according to The Church, a deeply violent and aggressive Christian order who in the hunt for witches, heretics and other fun people slaughtered whole villages. After a particularly brutal attack they bury all the bodies deep underground and places a big cross above them, so they will never be able to find peace again and stay in their place down in the dirt. Hundreds of years later a church is on that same spot, built to protect the world from Satan and his minions. Well, just this day a new employee decides to break the seal and unleashes hell inside the church - together with all the innocent visitors and the staff! And that’s it!
The story is very simple. Almost non-existent actually, it feels like a skit show, one fantastic scene after another of carnage, hellish imagery, surreal horror scenes and cryptic religious iconography. The story doesn’t make much sense and it’s difficult to understand if the gates of hell is a good thing, a way of revenge for all the murders in the past, or just proof that the christian fuckers were right all along. That ambiguous storytelling might be why I’m so attracted to it, like almost all Christian-themed horror movies from the seventies and up - as long they end unhappy for the main characters and the devils more or less win in the end!
Of the cast I can’t say much, but Hugh Quarshie makes a believable hero as one of the parish priests, along with the always excellent Giovanni Lombardo Radice. Asia Argento is actually very good, in one of her first parts - way better than she is today. Still a cool person, no matter her talent. Russian veteran actor, Feodor Chaliapin Jr., plays one of those characters I hate - just like in The Name of the Rose, a pure conservative asshole. But he does it good, to be honest. The rest of the cast is pretty stiff and animated, which might be because of the contrived dialogue, which probably worked better in the Italian version. But hey, the cast is just there to get killed anyway!
I promise you, there’s stuff in The Church you never seen before. The set-pieces, especially when hell rises from below, is fantastic. They’re like paintings, but alive, moving, breathing. Actually Soavi was inspired by the art of Boris Vallejo, which might explain some of the amazing scenes you will see, but Soavi has a distinct style - just like Argento and Fulci - far from the typical exploitation masters of Italy. His camera is curious, creating a world we’re part of. The sudden peaks into the private dialogues of the visitors reminds me of Robert Altman, who likes to stay on a distance, like a peeping Tom.
The Church is Michele Soavi’s best movie, without a doubt. Okay, I haven’t seen his non-horror movies, but I don’t think even them can compete with the insanity of this masterpiece.
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