Schmollywood Babylon

Happy Birthday to Me (J. Lee Thompson, 1981)

I think the last time I for real celebrated my birthday was when I went from 29 to 30, and my mom gathered some family, friends and other weirdos for a nice dinner. Hey, even my dad was there and he told me this story! To be honest, I've always felt a bit uncomfortable celebrating my birthday. It’s not because I worry about age and all the stuff, I like getting older - I’m getting wiser and more self-confident for each year and would never want to be younger. Nowadays, like today, I’m just going out with my partner for a nice dinner and that’s it - except the birthday greetings I get at Instagram, which I appreciate a lot!

Someone who have a totally opposite view on birthday celebrations is Virginia Wainwright (Melissa Sue Anderson) in Happy Birthday to Me, a girl who’s fighting her way back to live a normal life after a horrible accident, resulting in a nasty brain surgery. She goes at a fancy schmancy school and belongs to loosely arranged The Top Ten, a society for the brightest - and riches - students. But one after another they disappear, killed in gruesome ways, by an unknown assailant wearing black gloves. Everything seems to lead back to Virginia and her upcoming birthday party…

Produced by the same guys behind George Mihalka’s 1981 slasher masterpiece My Bloody Valentine, and it’s no surprising this is an extra classy and good-looking thriller. It even have the same special effects guy, Thomas R. Burman - even if his work got butchered in both films. While the cast is good - and Glenn Ford looks either terrible drunk or hangover - and the screenplay is a lot better than more alive than many other slasher films, the real star of the show is director J. Lee Thompson. I’ve always loved the work of this craftsman, even if he also is the man behind THE worst Charles Bronson movie ever, the deeply racist and homophobic Kinjite: Forbidden Subjects.

He really takes the genre, which was already on the way down quality-wise, and boosted the production values with creative directing and great murder-set-pieces, often quite sadistic and bloody - even in this version who got fucked-up by the kiddie fiddlers at the MPAA (there’s different theories about this, but we all know the MPAA is nothing but shit anyway). I never bought the concept that “the movie becomes more scary if the filmmakers don’t show too much”, especially in such a primitive genre as the slasher. We’re very few who watches this films because of the suspense. We want our slice ‘n’ dice flicks gory and bloody, ain't that the truth?

I was four years old when Happy Birthday to Me was released, so I can’t blame my fascination for the slasher genre and the love for this movie on nostalgia. I hate nostalgia, but there’s something special with movies from this time, just in-between the gritty 70’s and the colorful 80’s. It’s a special mix of what’s good and bad - in this case the violence vs the fashion. The only complain I have is that the last half hour feels pretty drawn out, I mean, it’s a long movie - almost two hours! So for a slasher that’s a tad too much. But it all becomes better when the insane ending starts, which is damn close to spoofing the genre.

Maybe that’s it by the way? Maybe J. Lee Thompson took the genre and made it more absurd, more insane, more colorful - just to show ‘em once and for all who’s the most experienced director on the block? I know the ending was rewritten to become more unexpected, less predictable - and they sure succeeded with that. Even I tend to forget between each time what’s gonna happen.

Happy Birthday to Me is a great vintage slasher which only suffers from the tampering from the MPAA and a bit too slow last half, but it’s still something all fans of the genre need to see. The blu-ray from Mill Creek looks fine and shares disc with When a Stranger Calls. And it’s dirt cheap. No excuses, boys and ghouls. Go get it.

The Scarehouse (Gavin Michael Booth, 2014)

And Hope to Die (René Clément, 1972)

Sometimes you see films that jumps out at you, grabs you by the throat and shakes you around. And Hope to Die is one of those, a French-Italo-Canadian...maybe co-production starring no others than Robert Ryan and Jean-Louis Trintignant. Not that it’s brutal or cynical film, it’s just that it’s integrity is so strong it couldn’t have been done in any other way. This is not just another normal heist-film/French-language hip thriller not starring Jean-Paul Belmondo or Alain Delon, this is something very special - maybe even a little bit magical.

We first meet Jean-Louis Trintignant’s character Froggy when he’s on the run, starting with a not so subtle reference to Once Upon a Time in the West, from what we understand is bad guys. He escapes and ends up interrupting a shoot-out involving some gangsters, lead by Charley (Robert Ryan). They think he’s involved with their enemies and takes him hostage. After a while they understand he’s not what they think he is, and the relationship between them all get more complicated. Suddenly Charley wants Froggy to help him with a heist, an impossible heist of course, and it gets even more complicated…

It’s a bit hard to completely explain the storyline of And Hope to Die, because it’s just one part cool heist cinema, the rest is an offbeat drama, close to surreal at times. One character, a supporting one, who stands out as extra absurd in the context of the story, is a woman who happens to be a real psychic and uses that against some other characters! It’s kinda dreamy and goes in a very special, close to poetic flow, with the fantastic chemistry of Ryan and Trintignant in the center of it. Around them is a small army of supporting parts, which are often played with bigger words and gestures, like the only ones who’s taking it seriously are our male leads - and the leading lady, a stunning Lea Massari. In another part we see Tisa Farrow, an actress I both consider very stiff and flat, but still hypnotic and with a great - but odd - charisma. I wish she would talk about her highly interesting career in movies.

One thing that came back to be while watching it was Quentin Tarantino, who MUST have seen this film at one point. He’s a self-confessed borrower to his own films and this film is no different from that. From the stylish gang of gangsters, the odd western-style theme, fast-talking supporting characters, a heavy actor like Robert Ryan, the overall feeling of being a lot smarter than similar films. But if you don’t like Tarantino, don’t worry, this movie was made long before he made movies and stands on it’s own legs without any problems.

I would like to discuss it more, but what’s extra interesting with And Hope to Die is the beginning and end, which is very cryptic. It’s a couple of children playing with marbles, but not without problems. What’s happening here? I’m not totally sure, but I think I know. It’s a bit related to 2012’s I Declare War, the Canadian coming of age film, but I won’t say more than so. It’s an idea I like, and shows in a very simple way what death, violence and crime is deep inside: a silly, stupid game.

Prom Night (Paul Lynch, 1980)

From Scream Queen to Dancing Queen, that’s one way of putting the career of Jamie Lee Curtis - from Halloween to Prom Night, the famous Canadian slasher that somehow created - just like it’s siblings from Hollywood - the clichées. First of all, I never been a fan of Prom Night. My fandom have more been centered around the fact Jamie Lee Curtis stars in it. I’ve been trying to see the quality in it for many years, but failed. Not that it’s a bad slasher, but I’ve always felt it’s almost too serious and laidback for its own good. So I felt it was time I gave it a new chance when Synapse Films finally released it on a truly stunning-looking blu-ray.

I think the reason why I’ve always had problems with it is the beginning, with that visually soft, dated look trying to be as flashbackish as it can be. I don’t mind it, but I do mind we see four kids - more or less dwarfs - grow from a decimeter in length to fully grown human beings in six years. I mean, I know about puberty, but this is extreme! Yeah, the six years; they accidentally kills another kid and then someone takes revenge on them a few years later when they look like thirty something teenagers á la 1980.

So the story is nothing new. You will recognize some of the scenes from Wes Craven’s Scream, of course a nice tribute by writer Kevin Williamson, and in this original movie they’re actually quite effective and less forced. The telephone calls, the character set-up. Everything is there, except references to even older genre movies. The it takes quite some time for something to happen. There’s a lot of “teen” drama (they really don’t look young at all!) until prom night finally comes and the killer can start slashing the sluts away. Both female and male. And final girl is as usual Jamie Lee Curtis.

There’s a lot of negative things to say about Prom Night, but I’ve dwelled on that so much earlier in my life I’m gonna try to focus on the positive things, like the stylish direction by Paul Lynch (who later directed the underrated Humongous), the nice score and the fucking awesome disco scene with Jamie Lee Curtis in full dancing mode. SO cool. The kills are non-gory (except one graphic decapitation), but filmed with a lot of style and going more at the Hitchcock direction than Fulci, if you know what I mean. What makes them so powerful is the strong characters. You REALLY pity the victims, even the less charming ones, because they don’t deserve it! They were kids and did something stupid, but that was a long (well, six years…) time ago and now they wanna fuck and smoke pot, just like you and me, dear reader.

While it strays into typical teen territory instead of the gory slasher-area I would have wanted it to go, I must say I like it more and more. Maybe I demanded more at a younger age, gore and silliness - and not love trouble and a more subtle thriller-esque direction. But the more I think of it, the better it gets. It’s a juicy slice of the 80’s and is not ashamed of it. It’s glitter-porn (even the killer have a glittery face mask!) with a dash of tacky prom night atmosphere-masturbation. And it’s constant, it’s all there all the time.

That’s why it works, that’s why it’s been able to survive all these years. It’s a good little movie, Prom Night, even if it have some flaws. Or beauty marks, it depends on how you see it.

Shivers (David Cronenberg, 1975)

David Cronenberg is - without a doubt - one of my top five favorite directors. If he was a superhero he could probably direct the earth into some kind of awesome orbit making all the idiots get thrown of, land on the moon and die. And he would still get the girl - or guy - in the end. That’s how great Cronenberg is (and what kinda surname is that, it’s one of the coolest ever!). Have you seen Maps to the Stars, the latest family-deconstruction by Cronenberg? It’s one of my favorite films this years, 2014, and it just proves what a master he is. But lets go back to 1975 and the release of Shivers - which caused a lot of anger. I was financed through some government deal and some movie critics couldn’t believe their eyes when Shivers was unleashed in front of their sensitive christian eyes. It cause so much anger Cronenberg had trouble finding money for his next movie, and this was just his first real feature length film! What would happen to our favorite director? A lot of good things obviously, but that’s another story.

Shivers is pure exploitation. It has plenty of nudity, violence and a wonderfully trashy atmosphere set in that environment we all love, the “brownorangeish” (© Fred Anderson 2014) Canadian autumn (I don’t know if it was shot during that period of the year, but every Canadian movie from the 70’s feels like it’s shot in the autumn). It became the most profitable movie of the year in its home country, which is not surprising considering the awesome entertainment it is. I’m not totally sure how the parasite first shows up (in the story, in the film it’s of course very easy to see), but it begins with a scene where an older man is brutally killing a young female student and soon the mayhem starts at the Starliner compound outside Montreal, a fancy island with fancy apartments and a whole little society for the rich and bored. The parasites are spreading from body to body transforming the inhabitants to sex-crazed, violent maniacs!

Filmed under the title Orgy of the Blood Parasites, which say it all, this is one of the finest (s)exploitation films of the 70’s, at least from Canada. Cronenberg directly shows us he has full control over the story with smart and multi-layered dialogue, excellent acting and almost a documentary feeling during some parts of the movie. I don’t think he would mind me comparing it to certain high quality porn films from the same decade, with sometimes cheap lighting and a few quick and flat set-ups which reveal the low budget nature of the production. This of course just awesome. It doesn’t affect the overall quality of the film, just enhances the grittiness of it.

The cast is quite nifty also. Paul Hampton as the brave doctor Roger St. Luc is awesome. He looks like sad lounge singer most of the times, but delivers a strong and competent performance. His scientist-pal Rollo Linsky (another fine name) is played by Joe Silver, an actor with one of the most impressive voices I’ve ever heard. It’s deep. Somehow. Hard to explain, but it steals every scene it’s heard in! He later showed up in Cronenberg’s second movie Rabid. Need to re-watch that one also I think. One the female side we have two legendary genre actresses; Lynn Lowry and Barbara Steele, which both can be considered stunt casting as well as brilliant casting. Lowry is so cool as nurse Forsythe! Charisma deluxe! A wonderful actress indeed.

I’ve seen the new David Cronenberg-approved blu-ray from Arrow Films, which looks amazing. Sure, it’s misses 18 seconds - but in all fairness, I wouldn’t have noticed these missing seconds anyway. The quality of the disc is outstanding - OUTSTANDING - and I’m very happy with the release. If there’s a more complete version on the way on blu I will buy it again (or get a new disc from Arrow, if the rights owners can locate an uncut HD master), but until then I’m more than happy with it.

A strong recommendation from yours truly!

The Pyx (Harvey Hart, 1973)

Hey boys and ghouls! It’s the National Canadian Film Day today, which means everyone - and I mean EVERYONE - should watch a Canadian film and feel good about themselves. It’s in the law… I’ve heard. I for one had difficulties choosing a title. I mean, I love Canadian cinema, but the truly great genre classics like My Bloody Valentine, Black Christmas etc, are all written about millions of times. Why why the heck write about them again? There’s nothing new to add to the subject. So I took down my second DVD of The Pyx from the shelf. It’s the second because the first DVD I once bought looked like friggin’ POOP, and when finally Scorpion Releasing gave us a decent release of I just had a hard time watching it. It really didn’t caught my attention. Until now then, when I’m tired and too lazy to change disc was forced to see it from beginning to end. I didn’t regret that.

As you know, I hate writing synopses, but I’ll give it a try: Detective Sergeant Jim Henderson (Christopher Plummer) are called to the scene of an apparent suicide. Elizabeth Lucy, a very expensive prostitute (played by Karen Black) have plunged to her death from a building and it’s up to Jim to come up to why she would do such a thing. Slowly (and I mean slowly as in SLOOOOOWLY) he uncovers a very sinister story eventually leading to.. the occult! Is Elizabeth just a part of something bigger? Did she throw herself to her death or did someone else do it? Told in flashbacks, we finally learns the truth…

The Pyx is a very slow movie. It’s so slow I wouldn’t really call it a horror movie. It’s more a drama with some...horror-ish tendencies. I’m not saying this is a bad thing, actually quite the opposite, just don’t expect action, gore and Satanic rituals non-stop. What hits me the most is the fantastic performance by Black. She mixes tenderness and cynicism as the not-so-happy hooker, which just becomes more powerful knowing it’s she who also sings the eerily, beautiful sad songs on the soundtrack. Plummer is also good, almost I guess on purpose, hiding his good looks with a plain, flat haircut and almost zero emotions - until the end. A boring cop doing his boring job, but it’s creeping up on him more and more. Wonderful and subtle. Also watch out for Robin Gammell in a small part. Great actor and he’s mostly famous for his groundbreaking role as one of the doctors, the gay one, in Peter Carter’s 1977 masterpiece Rituals.

The slow pace might get to slow at parts, which is a pity. It’s not a party movie exactly, and to follow it and appreciate it you need to actually watch it and listen to what people are saying. It’s all about the creepy atmosphere here, less about the shlock value. It’s not without it’s violence or more edgy material, but it’s not the main thing with this film, but it’s there.

The Pyx is a very good movie, not really the masterpiece I was hoping for, instead it gave me something with a little bit more depth than usual...but it could have been even better with a little bit more grue and classic horror. I guess those who once saw it under its alternative title, THE HOOKER CULT MURDERS, was immensely disappointed!

Stage Fright (Jerome Sable, 2014)

There’s something special ‘bout films set in the world of theatre, musical and opera. The stage itself lends itself to a certain magic, the labyrinth corridors behind it, the secret passageways above and under. I guess most of it goes back to The Phantom of the Opera, but even later productions like Terror at the Opera, Clown at Midnight, The Flesh and Blood Show, Michele Soavi’s Stage Fright, Theater of Blood, Phantom of the Opera (the one with Robert Englund), Phantom of the Paradise, Nightmares etc etc is good example how to make entertaining horror and thrillers set in the darkness of theaters and opera houses.

I learned of Jerome Sable’s Stage Fright by mistake actually. Someone on Letterboxed wrote a write of what I thought was Michele Soavi’s Stage Fright and I kinda agreed with it. Until something felt wrong and I started to read the rest of the information and found it was a new film, starring - among others - Meat Loaf and Minnie Driver. What the hell? So I had to see it, especially because it also seemed gay-friendly and was something as odd as a mix of slasher and musical! My relationship with musicals has always been strained. There’s a few I truly LOVE; The Happiness of the Kataturis, Singing in the Rain and Rocky Horror Picture Show are a few examples, but the rest...I don’t know. They always feels a bit too contrived to entertain me. I don’t like forced emotions, which I think musicals have plenty of.

In this Stage Fright we begin like all good slashers/giallos/mysteries - ten years ago during the premiere of The Haunting of the Opera. Diva and mother Kylie Swanson is brutally (very giallo-style, with a dash of Psycho 2!) stabbed to death after the brilliant first performance by an unknown assailant. She leaves her two kids alone in the world, but they’re taken care of by the producer Roger (Meat Loaf) who since then never been able to produce anything. Instead he’s having a musical camp for kids where the two motherless kids now are slightly depressed teenagers and works in the kitchen. The daughter, Camilla (Allie MacDonald) really wants to sing and fakes herself into the auditions… and now the leading part, the one her mother played in the original performances, stand between her and one other girl. This could be a nice, but eventful, summer vacation… if it wasn’t for the goth killer, wearing a Kabuki mask (or Bukkake as the closeted gay lead singer calls it), planning to kill everyone involved in the performance!

Stage Fright really starts off brilliantly. It perfectly hits the eighties feeling without being a boring retro-pastiche like everyone else do it. The violence is graphic and the style is very cinematic. It feels like we’re watching a mix between a slasher and a giallo - and when the movie goes forward to the present, it’s like we’re in Sleepaway Camp-land once again. The opening song- and dance-number is fun, with witty references to everything from Stephen Sondheim and Andrew Lloyd Webber, capturing both the silliness that the genre has - but still keeps it real. The characters who’s established fast and effective are all wonderful, both the writing and acting. It’s that great, nostalgic, feel-good atmosphere coming back to the audience.

Then it actually goes down a notch. It’s bad, it’s just that it’s loses some of its wits. The actors (both the grown-ups and the kiddies) are still awesome and there’s some fun scenes from time to time, but the energy is almost gone during the middle. It’s focusing more on the drama between Camilla and the director… and the other girl who wants the part, cut to scenes where Meat Loaf is being worried about getting the camps economy together. It’s all very well-made, but belongs in something else. Thank heavens, the energy is back during the last third - when the big premiere is suppose to happen. There the killer strikes again, as usual in brutal ways, leading to charming and cute David (Thomas Alderson, who turns in a great comedic performance - I hope to see him in more stuff soon!), the stage manager, trying to keep the performance together while people are getting killed backstage. It’s fun and over-the-top and often very painful to watch. Stage Fright also turns a bit more serious at the end, which contradicts the easy-going first part. This is both good and bad, but I’d love them to keep it like they did it in the start.

I’ve been whining here, but Stage Fright is a damn entertaining and sometimes gory slasher-musical with an atmosphere which is hard to beat. Lots of love and passion, cute guys, nice girls, Meat Loaf with a moustache - what more do you need?

Cube 2: Hypercube (Andrzej Sekula, 2002)

Who could have know Vincenzo Natali’s 1997 scifi classic Cube would have generated not one, but two, sequels - like its own little twisted scifi/mystery/horror franchise. I mean, we’re not talking about a mainstream, easy accessible movie - the first one - more an open-ended artyfarty trip with a dash of good old commercialism. Give years after the first one made a successful run over the world the sequel - in good Canadian tradition - came, this time mostly - I guess - direct to video; Cube 2: Hypercube. I remember how people disliked quite a bit when it came, but I felt attracted to the different visual style, and I still do now when I’ve finally watched it again after all these years.

As usual in the Cube-universe, a bunch of people (a confused old woman, a blind young girl, a passive-aggressive hacker, a tough woman, a gangster-type brute etc - all with their own reason to be there) find themselves trapped inside a gigant construction made of constantly moving cube-shaped rooms. You can get into every room, but in some of them there’s deadly secrets. This time the Cube is behaving odder, it’s white and with strange, surrealistic, traps - not especially physical, more digital in shape. But they can kill, oh yeah. Don’t except anything else. It’s difficult to tell the story without spoiling it, so I’m stopping here.

The Cube films are basically like the Saw films, but before that franchise even started. But this time the concept is to figure out why people are there and what secrets they hide, not that the necessary should learn something and be grateful etc etc etc. Anyway, I guess the second Cube is a bit disappointing for conservative genre fans because it builds a lot of its tension on digital effects, and not especially good ones either - but remember, there’s a point it looks this way and it fits perfectly into the saga. It’s a logical step from the first film without actually changing that much.

What struck me the most with Hypercube is how the actors are weaker, or at least a directed by a less experienced director. Andrzej Sekula is a very competent cinematopgrapher (he was Tarantinos choice for Reservoirs Dogs, Pulp Fiction and Four Rooms, and later charming genre productions like Vacancy and American Psycho), but he feels unsure when it comes to handle the sensitive beings called actors. Everyone seems to act a little bit too much instead of keeping it low-key which would fit this franchise a lot better.

I’m not really sure the reason why everyone is there holds together in the end, it’s pretty weak on that department, but still hangs together quite good if you don’t analyze the dramaturgical structure to close.

I’ve always loved movies based on digital and mathematical mumbo jumbo (probably because I don’t understand it!) and Hypercube is no exception. It’s one of those movies I just enjoy for what it is and doesn’t give a shit about the rest.

eXistenZ (David Cronenberg, 1999)

eXistenZ is one of those movies people say "Oh, it think it's clever when it's actually not clever at all, so people who want to pretend to be smart can have something completely wrong to say, because this is one of those movies that's think its quite clever it's clever for real". Maybe it's the lighthearted tone and campiness that scares the Cronenberg fans away from this wonderful romp, but they should try re-evalute their opinion and embrace it once and for all.

Jude Law is Ted Pikul, a harmless security guard without right to to bear weapon, and today is he guarding a secret testing of eXistenZ, the latest project from genius game designer Allegra Geller (Jennifer Jason Leigh). In this dimension the game pads they're playing are living organism, a fleshy, warm, moving pod who you connect to your spinal. But something goes wrong, a terrorist attacks the meeting and soon is Ted forced to take company with Allegra and try to save her... or her game. But the question is, which game are they actually playing?

There's a poetry over Cronenberg's fascination of the ugly and sometimes deadly, maybe he was the abandoned building photographer in his mind, the first hipster of that kind? There's several worlds in eXistenZ, all of the glossy and beautiful on the surface, but underneath dirty. Physically dirty. Like there's several layers of dirt in the scenes themselves, the story used by them to come alive is even more layered - while not especially deep, but in that silly, cartoon-esque style of Batman, Indiana Jones or Tales from the Crypt. This movie's own Cryptkeeper Cronenberg playfully toys with stereotypes and catchphrases, like it's his own 30's serial. 

While the mainframe of the movie is silly, but deliberately made so, it raises several questions about morality, technology and the more evident commercialism of our mind. It really doesn't say if an alternative reality is okay or not, it says more about being aware of what can happen if you just doesn't think it through. Who are really Ted and Allegra in eXistenZ? Are they really real players being played with in a simulated adventure game or are they instead game characters who believe they are real? I love how the whole movie is built like a game, with important stations where something happens, characters who gives you clues, the main character becoming more and more resourceful and skilled at killing, which happens even when it's not suppose to happen because it should be the real life. 

eXistenZ is a movie about silliness that can make you be sucked into its story just like this movie sucks us in, even if it's not real. Are any of us real? 

Take a look at this, a famous fact: 

"isten" in "eXistenZ", the letter inbetween X and Z means "GOD" in hungarian. 
In the game arriving later in the movie, "tranCendenZ", the words inbetween C and Z is the German word "enden", which means God End, the end of God. According to the most popular religious mythology God is existence, he made us (not for real though, it's just a fairy tale in an over-populated sect) exist. 

Conspiracy theories ahead, this stuff is fun. I wonder if there's more hidden messages in the text... or the text of this movie? I wonder if I really wrote it? Or if I'm someone else pretending to be what I am today? If there's no god I guess it could be a possibilty.

We're just meaningless parts of an intergalatic game of Silent Hill. 

Antichristmas: Black Christmas (Glen Morgan, 2006)

I know Bob Clark’s original Black Christmas is considered a perfect, timeless classic - a pre-slasher that defined all the future slashers. And I guess those who say so are correct, at least in part. Because that side story with the cop, John Saxon, is terrible boring and just a filler to make the movie come up in a proper length. That might be why I like Glen Morgan’s colorful remake so much, it just ignores the boring things and goes directly for the jugular. Not saying it’s a masterpiece, but the gay man in me really appreciates the tackiness, the John Water-esque supporting characters, the gore and spectacular set-pieces. Okay, off to the story!

We first meet Billy at the asylum, sitting and preparing for his revenge. He once poked out the eye on his sister, killed his mother and stepfather and ate their flesh in the shape of gingerbread cookies. A nice guy, in every way possible. Did I mention he’s yellow also? Anyway, he escapes back to his old house that’s now a sorority house with a few girls who haven’t gone home to their vacations yet, but still ready to celebrate Christmas Eve! Let me tell you it will be a very bloody Christmas this year…

Alright, this is not a classic – but it’s so much fun! First of all, Morgan literary prays that awful thing called American Christmas (which is even worse than Christmas in Europe – not by much, but still…) with its hysterical contrived “cozy” atmosphere, colorful decorations, fucking Santas and saints in every damn corner and a constant snowing outside. It’s like a John Waters Christmas, right from the fifties – but with nudity, gore, sex and a lovely heretic attitude toward this overrated holiday!

Yeah, I know all of you love it and it’s a great way for you to meet up with your family and relatives, eat good food and get gifts. I respect that, as long you won’t force the Christmas spirit upon me! Back to the movie: the original is famous for its lack of explanations, but the remake delivers everything – and more – on this. This is what makes the original powerful and extra scary. We don’t know why or who. It’s just some crazy bastard killing people. But you couldn’t do that twice. I really enjoy the wonderful white trash back story, with Karin Konoval (brilliant!) as Billy’s psychotic and alcoholic mother. This story is intertwined with the modern story, as flashbacks and storytelling devices and it works great.  Andrea Martin, from the first Black Christmas, is fun and eccentric as the house mother Mrs Mac. It would have been fun to see Margot Kidder back in the saga, but hey, you can’t get everything!

The 2006 Black Christmas has everything except maybe that timeless quality some people crave. But the thing is that I think it’s better now than when I saw it the first time, eight years ago. It’s aged to the better, feeling quite fresh and tasteless in a cool way. The gore is good (but often very fast scenes of carnage), there are some very creative visual solutions and most of the actors seem to be in on what they’re doing. A macabre, twisted version of Christmas – the way I prefer it!