Schmollywood Babylon

JeruZalem (Doron Paz & Yoav Paz, 2015)

Alright boys and girls, I fucking love found footage movies. It’s not a guilty pleasure or something silly like that, it’s a true passion. I seriously dig this genre, and I love how it makes old worn-out stories work again, just because it’s shot from someone's point of view. The strenght of found footage, something many forget, is what my buddies Jason and Jocke pointed out: it gives the illusion that something really cool could be a true, a big “if”... and that’s the key to imagination. So I never really cared for the boring found footage haters, they can’t just see beyond their own narrow wannabe-imagination.

This genre often becomes even better when it leaves the safe environments of American suburbs and rundown asylum ruins, or even or even, it will benefit from turning away from the worst clichés and embrace the exotic. I’ve seen found footage flicks from most parts of the world, but this is the first one from Israel. The artworks makes you think of World War Z, including the title written exactly like JeruZalem - and I’m not the only one who remember the Jerusalem scenes in Brad Pitt’s underrated blockbuster. But JeruZalem is a very different kind of bird compared to World War Z. Imagine a mix of Cloverfield, possession horror and even a dash of underground terrors like The Descent - and also visually very impressive, but in the end oddly underwhelming.

It tells the story of two American tourists trapped in Jerusalem during what’s essentially is the rapture, but instead of people disappearing they turn into hellish winged demons! Everything is seen through Google Glasses - or something similar - complete with GPS, face recognition with direct link to Facebook, music and - obviously - the world’s most durable batteries. It’s a very slick movie. It actually looks great, and I actually buy the reason why these glasses are being used, even after the apocalypse have started. The movie spends a good deal of its running time getting us to know the characters, maybe a bit too much of its own good, but it never - in my eyes - becomes boring or uninteresting. The characters are believable in their own silliness.

So how’s the horror? It’s… good. Not great, but competent. I was slightly disappointed you get to see so little of the mayhem, which could be a budgetary reason, but even even with several nice demon attacks, a Kaiju big demon (maybe Lucifer himself?) wandering through the city and random panic and chaos you never feel that punch in the belly, more a slight tickling sensation because the film is so good-looking. What JeruZalem needs is a kick in the ass to go that extra mile to deliver more violence and monsters.

BUT… it’s not a bad movie. It’s a lot of fun, the action is cool and there’s a lot of clever use of the glasses. The effects mostly looks great, including the really cool Kaiju demon (I would have loved to see a LOT more of that one!), and the ending gave me minor chills. It also uses the city of Jerusalem in an excellent, makes me wanna go there sometime, and that really adds to the production value. It won't change the world, win any Oscars or make new fans of found footage, but of us connoisseurs of the art of telling subjective cameras an a form of storytelling device this is a fun, glossy, not that original take on the found footage genre.

Witch Story (Alessandro Capone, 1989)

Woah! An Italian horror movie I haven’t seen! Well, that was my first thought, but my pal Jocke reminded me that we actually saw it during one of our so-called “geekends” a few years back. Maybe not the best sign that I had no memories whatsoever of Alessandro Capone’s Witch Story (aka Streghe), a generic title which fits a generic flick. I suspect I fell asleep during that first viewing years ago and missed a lot of it, because most of the time now it felt like it was the first time watching it!

A bunch of teenagers arrives - by bus by the way, no Scooby Doo Van here, to a small town to spend a weekend at an old house, owned by the family of one of the pieces of meat… I mean, of the characters. But the house have a backstory none of them could imagine. It was once owned (I think… not sure sure actually) by a witch named Helene and before she got lynched by a hysterical mob of grown men actually believing it’s proper to burn a woman alway, she casts a curse on the house and everyone in it… and that’s not a good sign in an Italian horror film. Soon our bunch of meatheads gets killed one by one by the witch...and there’s some sidestory about a cursed priest also, played the excellent - but almost always slumming - Ian Bannen.

Yeah, it’s not weird that Witch Story was released as Superstition 2 in some territories, because it’s quite similar in style and - more or less - story. The script is generic to say the least, but Capone was (or is? haven’t seen his latest works) a competent director and the movie looks like a million bucks. Or at least half a million. Or maybe close to one quarter of a million to be honest. Anyway, the cinematography is stellar and so is the visual storytelling - and for once this late 80’s Italian horror flick had a set designer who actually cared about doing something with the locations instead of just hanging a painting askew. Witch Story oozes of atmosphere and it’s lit in a way that every damn shot looks like a work of art.

If only there was a better script. Yeah, there’s nothing new here. The kids fuck and fight, walks away alone and gets killed, listens to lame rock music and all of them have that special non-special look the Italians loved so much when casting young wannabe-actors in the US. We who have seen a lot of these Italian productions shot in the US between 1985-1990 recognizes the cast. No, it’s not the same actors, but it’s the same characters. Like very low key spoof of American teens, less silly than those in local productions, but also lacking charisma. Witch Story have a slightly better cast than many others in the genre, but that doesn’t stop it from having a few of the worst actors I’ve seen so far also - and I’m looking at you Pierre Agostino, sleepwalking his way in an important role as a priest. The kids themselves are mostly okay actually, and it seems - but I’m probably wrong - that there’s a few scenes with improvisation on camera, which works better than I thought it would. The bickering in-between the kids, especially around the table, almost sounds realistic.

How about the gore then? It’s not especially gory, but it’s bloody and violent and delivers the goods that way. But one would wish for some more graphic violence, not only cheap stabbings. But it doesn’t mean it’s lame or anything like that, it’s more sadistic and dark than for example Umberto Lenzi’s similar and awesome Ghosthouse.

Witch Story is out on DVD in Germany, a quite nice anamorphic print, uncut what I know and with forced German subs. Well worth a purchase if you can find it!

Kat (Martin Schmidt, 2001)

Once upon a time danish Martin Schmidt seemed to be the future for scandinavian horror with interesting slashers like Sidste Time (1995), Mørkeleg (1996) and Bag det stille ydre (2005). But he’s mostly been active in television and family movies, except for one more title: 2001’s Kat. I remember when it came, it didn’t get good reviews - mostly because Swedish critics give every kind of genre film bad ratings - but I chased it down on tape and enjoyed it. I haven’t seen it since then, well until today where I FINALLY got my hands on a Spanish DVD. The Swedish have been impossible to find and I had to start searching outside our little boring country.

Kat is interesting in several ways. Mostly because it follows Riget (1994) and Besat (1999) in that it’s Danish horror that deals with the occult and spiritualism in general. Of these three Kat might be both the cheapest - and the most mainstream. Which is not a bad thing, because if you look beyond the kinda cheap-looking digital photo (it was a whole different deal at the time, nowadays I promise most of you wouldn’t see the difference between digital and film - believe me) and the clichés, it is a lot of fun.

Liv Corfixen (the wife of Nicolas Winding Refn by the way) is Maria. She shares an apartment with her friend Isabella (Charlotte Munck), a place they rent from Isabella’s odd - to say the least - grandparents, who live above them. One night these elderly crazies holds a seance and accidentally evokes someone else than their normal friendly spirit, and instead helps something more sinister into this world. This thing, maybe a demon, possesses Maria’s cat and starts killing everyone she might something against! The cat grows into a bloodthirsty predator who - among other things - crushes a guy with a minibus. That’s not nice!

I think Kat is a lot of fun. It’s also quite predictable, but I have a sense that’s exactly what Schmidt set out to do; a good old “b-movie”, complete with some gore, blood, seances, darkly lit streets and an absurd storyline that kinda works better than it should. Even if cats are awesome they’re quite hard to make look dangerous, in my opinion anyway, even if filmmakers tried several times through film history. Here Kat succeeds because it doesn't go overboard with cheesiness (I’m looking at you, 1988’s Uninvited!), but stays within the borders of what could be said to be a decent DTV horror flick. That’s where it belongs, because it’s - without actually having any proof of it .- performs a lot better on the small screen than on the big screen.

As a horror movie, and not just a semi-cheesy killer cat flick it works fine. Seances is always cool on the screen, and both that scene and later scenes with intestines involved, made me think of the Italians - Fulci especially - a bit cheap and dirty, but gloriously graphic and imaginative. The kills are often quite violent, maybe not gory - but there’s some nasty claw slashings a fun sequence with a minibus, blood and a not-bad-considering-the-budget computer generated big demon cat at the end - which is intercut with cool practical monster effects.

It’s a pity Kat is so forgotten today, because as a Scandinavian horror film it’s not bad. It could have been better and bigger with more budget and maybe a splash more gore, but it’s a bit late for that now. Kat is a nice addition - no, it’s THE best addition to the killer cat sub-genre, treating the subject with seriousness and without any unnecessary tongues in cheeks. It’s hard to find, but if you find it get your paws on it and hopefully you will enjoy it as much as I did.

Zombie Cats from Mars (Montetré, 2015)

WARNING: THIS REVIEW CONTAINS WAY TOO MANY CAT PUNS!

“This film is based on catual events”. That opening statement kinda sets the tone for Zombie Cats from Mars, a micro budget horror-drama-scifi-comedy-spoof-comingofage-weirdo adventure from director Montetré and writer Ryan Cloutier. As you can understand I couldn’t stop myself the first time I heard about the project, supported it on Kickstarter - which didn’t reach all the way through, and finally pre-ordered a blu-ray copy. I’m a self-confessed crazy cat guy, currently living in a suburb apartment with my partner Gregory and two cats: the small and bitchy Kitek and the younger, more naive and quite shy (though we’re convinced he’s just having a very high integrity) Buster. You can see a lot of photos of them on Instagram if you use the hastags #KitekTheKat and #BusterTheBastard.

Anyway now when the cat’s out of the bag, what the heck is Zombie Cats from Mars? It’s… well, it’s actually a bit hard to describe, beclawse it’s a straaaaange kitten. We follow some of the good folks in typical american suburb:  teenager Billy (Brasen Koehler) who tries to find his identity as young gay man, his pal wacky Cameron (Estevan Muñoz) who have the hots for Billy’s mom (Stephanie Leet), Lester (Joon Rhee) and his wife Carolyn (Cheyenne Leigh Shaw) who are fighting to get a child etc. One night Billy and Cameron witnesses a small UFO over their hood, and what we see - but they don’t - is that a cat with glowing red eyes crawls out of it! Soon every cat in the neighbourhood is infected with the alien cat virus!!! Cat-astrophe!!!

It’s a lot of stuff going on in ZCFM, there’s more than few characters to keep control over as the audience - which can be both good and bad! It’s a movie which toys with clichés and conventions, and does it a very off-beat original way. Sometimes it feels like we’re visiting the set of a John Waters film and sometimes it’s social-realism cinema, kitten sink melodrama and then phasing over to corny, 50’s sci-fi spoof and almost purre surrealism. There’s instances where the humor and drama doesn’t reach all the way, but most of the time it actually works.

What surpurrses me the most is the cast, which is more competent than I ever could believed. Most of them are good, or even great (but we’re not talking about any Claws Kinski’s here though), and if they’re not skilled actors they’re charismatic and gives everything they’ve got. One that obviously will be a bigger star sooner or later is Joon Rhee as Lester. He gives us a convincing, complex portrait of a character that could have been a stereotype (church going, semi-sad working man with a slightly strained relationship at home with his wife). I urge other filmmakers to take a look at his work. The freakiest character is the cat-holic priest, played with a lot of originality by Ernest Adams, who might chew the scenery - but delivers the purrformance in a good way.

As for the cats, they’re of course the highlight and main tailents of the show! Sometimes helped with the magic of fake paws and plush cat stand-in’s, they goes from looking slightly bored to what the fuck is going on to edgy and furocious in their attacks against us humans! Which also comes to what I think is the most important thing with Zombie Cats from Mars: the love for cats. Made in cooperation with a Vancouver organisation called Furry Friends Cat Rescue, who both provided cats and cat handlers for the production. There’s way too many people out there who gets a kitten, get tired of taking care of it and let it go - which is animal abuse, cats are domesticated  creatures - they like humans, they depend on humans (no matter how bitchy them seem to be) and we need to take care of them, give him love and a home.

Sure, Zombie Cats from Mars isn’t purrfect. I’m a professional myself in the biz (IMDB, acting site and Filmcafé) and might have done things differently. But that’s a whole different tail. Because ZCFM is a fun film, made with passion and love for the subject - sometimes bordering to the absurd (I mean, these cats can do everything - including handling a saw or a gun) which just makes it even more awesome! Looking at the bonus material on the blu-ray you’ll see so much people doing what the love and doing it with care. There’s a one hour making-of, mostly a fly on the wall project, which is interesting, a fun out-takes section, some complete scenes from behind the camera where you see the trouble of handling cats, there’s a makeup and gore featurette and a lot more.

What, did the cat got your tongue? If you don’t believe me, just watch it!

You can buy the movie at the production company’s homepage, and please don’t download. I don’t give a cats ass if you download Transformers 9, but stay out of destroying for the indies - especially those who’s still doing it because it’s fun and awesome and to do something good. It’s worth the money, and even if you don’t like it you’ve supported something with passion. Don’t accept copycats!

If Zombie Cats from Mars treats their future right, we might have a cult hit here - a lovingly homage to b-movies and teen angst, a perfect film for the Rocky Horror audience and us who might or might not have some kind of semi-sick obsession with our furry friends the cats. And for you who wonder, yes, Zombie Cats from Mars is perfect while enjoying some cat nip ;)

Horsehead is out!

I had the pleasure of watching Romain Basset’s truly unique euro horror film Horsehead some months ago and since then I’ve been waiting for it to be released on some kind of home video media. Finally our friends at Last Exit Entertainment have released it and it’s available to buy from their web shop (which might be the easiest and cheapest way to buy it at the moment). It’s a French production, but shot in English (don’t worry, it’s perfectly fine) with a awesome cast: Lilly-Fleur Pointeaux, Catriona MacColl, Murray Head, Vernon Dobtcheff and Philippe Nahon!

I might review it sooner or later, but it’s a hard movie to describe in words even if it’s fairly normal and not really experimental or abstract, this is a full on horror/mystery based on lucid dreaming - which is dreams where you’re aware that you’re dreaming. A very intriguing subject and it’s a concept giving birth to endless of ideas what to do with it. Horsehead is a subtle movie, but still on oozes with tension, awesome locations, fine acting and - for once - interesting ideas. It’s a horror movie far from the usual clichés.

On Letterboxd I have it full score and wrote this “Horsehead is an amazingly dark, surreal and twisted take on lucid dreaming. Fulci, Argento, arty farty and a deeply sexual fairy tale all in one.”. I think that’s a pretty fair description! But I will watch it again as soon my DVD arrives and then I will write a proper review.

But I can tell you all that you won’t regret buy this. Here’s the full specs for the DVD:

HORSEHEAD – SPECIAL EDITION [LEE004]
-Making of Horsehead
-Complete Soundtrack with Photo Gallery
-Bloody Current Exchange (short)
-Light Drowning (short)
-Trailers
- Language: English

- Swedish Subtitles

Here’s a direct link to Last Exit Entertainment’s shop (and homepage) and of course the official Facebook page!

The Second Coming (Herman Yau & Tin Chi Ng, 2014)

I’ve said it many times, if it wasn’t for Jackie Chan I’m sure many people out there never would have discovered Hong Kong (and in general, asian) cinema. The insanity going on in those movies was an eye-opener for me, even if they’re super-mega mainstream and quite silly. But boy, those fights! Those stunts? Crazy ideas flowing from every direction, and none of that silly, boring kill your darlings stuff. Starting with Jackie also made me find out about Chow-Yun Fat and John Woo, Golden Harvest… and maybe most important for this review, Shaw Brothers. If you haven’t seen a horror movie produced by Shaw Brothers you haven’t seen horror. They set of a trend that’s kinda still is going on, black magic - which means larvas, worms, snakes, menstrual blood, skin diseases, sex and violence. Everything mixed into one fucked-up hot and spicy gratin.

I’m not gonna lie to you and claim I’m an expert on neither Herman Yau or category III films from Hong Kong, but I’ve seen my fair share of vintage productions in this genre and therefore I felt I had to buy The Second Coming when I recently found it on DVD. It’s, what I understand, Yau’s return to the genre that made his career (I haven’t seen 2007’s Gong Tau yet). The question is of course, does he still have it in him? That darkness, that gory disturbing darkness? Let’s see…

Maggie Siu and Kenny Wong is Jeng and Ming, a couple with a dark past. A long time ago Jeng was raped and she tried to abort the child herself, but fails. Ming takes a bloody revenge on the rapist, but no one discovers what he did. Now they’re a reasonably happy family with a teenager daughter, Lucy (Joey Leong), the result of the rape, and a slightly older son, Sunny (Donald Li) studying to be a doctor. One day Lucy discovers a buried glass jar not far from their house, and opens it. And that unleashes hell on the family. Lucy behaves more and more bizarre, strange accidents happen and soon they’re all on the brink to disaster! Is it a possession? A ghost? A demon? Well, watch the movie and you will find out!

During my research for The Second Coming (originally released in 3D actually) I found mostly negative reviews, but I guess that’s because they’re all comparing it to Yau’s earlier works in the genre, which all were a lot more violent and sleazy. Here we have a pretty mainstream category III (the 2D version is rated IIB, which states “Level Two-B: Not Suitable for Young Persons and Children. The Government suggests parental guidance when watching the film.”), and it is a lot tamer than I’ve seen before - but I still liked this movie. It’s really nothing special, but the story works fine and Yau is a great storyteller. This also mean it’s not especially graphic, but I’m pretty sure it’s not so tame compared to similar American movies. We still get a nasty abortion, while not graphic it’s still brutal, a rape, a crushed dog and a quite disturbing supernatural entity. Plus blood and cuts.

If there’s something I didn’t like….it’s something I can’t reveal here. But I never liked that specific idea (seen in way too many movies), but it kinda works pretty good here anyway and gives a tragic, touching twist to it all. It’s not bad, it’s fine. But it kinda bugs me.

What really sells the movie is the actors, all are excellent! Totally convincing performances set in a realistic lived-in location and with a nice balance between melodrama, mystery and horror. One of the highlights is veteran Hong Kong actress Siu Yam-Yam, famous for her works in the 70’s. Nowadays she have a very special look, which just adds to the edginess of her persona. I nice surprise seeing her doing a Zelda Rubinstein in Poltergeist (more or less).

The Second Coming might not be an extreme movie, and if you’re a hardcore CatIII fan you might be disappointed. But I found the story good and the cast excellent, so it’s something I really can recommend. Maybe it’s a good starter if you wanna get into the genre but not start with the most extreme production.

Haze (Shinya Tsukamoto, 2005)

The older I get the less I wanna see dark, cynical, brutal, sadistic movies. I have nothing against them, absolutely not - but I've seen everything by now and I know all too well how to kill a human, or scare the shit out of someone, at least in the movies. But one thing that strikes a chord in me is Japanese cinema, which also is the country behind some of the darkest, most brutal movies I ever seen. A nice counterpart to the wealth of wonderful, awesome pop culture in form of giant monsters, superheroes and splatter comedies. One director I’m slowly discovering is Shinya Tsukamoto. I’ve seen the first two Tetsuo films, Hiruko the Goblin and now Haze.

Me and my mates in exploitation adventures, Jason and Jocke, tried to watch it this weekend (during our tradition “Geekend in the Woods”), but the sunshine was so strong Sunday morning it was virtually impossible to see anything - just the sounds of a moaning and hyperventilating Shinya Tsukamoto, who also plays the lead, got through to us. So I gave it another spin today, in the comfort of my own dark “cavepartment”. An YES, I could see something! In the faint light of a source only there to make us see the shadowy face of Tsukamoto, scared shitless.

Tsukamoto wakes up and finds himself in a dark, cramped space. He have lost his memory. It’s very dark and he can’t hardly see anything. It’s wet, built of what seems like concrete and the stench is horrible. At first he panics, tries to find investigate the surroundings, but it’s not until he calms down and starts crawling he finally get to see what’s happening. Body parts, screams. Something is going on in the darkness. Finally he meets a woman who is in the same situation as him, she tells him what she remembers and slowly they start to piece together the puzzle and try to solve this horrible, gruesome mystery.

The first thing that came to my mind was Rodrigo Cortés’ 2010 sleeper hit Buried, starring Ryan Reynolds and a coffin. And a snake. Now, I can honestly say I liked it. It worked for me, it was a nice, intimate melodrama of terror. I guess it’s possible to say now, after it first become darling of all critics and the audience, then transformed into “overrated” because it just turned too popular and now it’s back in the family again. And there’s something very Buried-ish over Haze, or the correct thing is that there’s something Haze-esque over Buried! We have a man in dark, tight place, trying to save his own life. Haze is mostly built around close-ups, which makes it even more claustrophobic than Buried and the set-up is a lot more satisfying.

Personally I love when there’s no clue what’s going on. There’s one thing to push the limits like Lost, and make one good idea hundreds of hours long, and Tsukamoto knows this. He teases with weird details, hardly visible in the darkness, that might or might not give a clue to what's going on. By focusing on sound and music he creates a brutally eerie and creepy atmosphere, and when the end finally comes you both feel relaxed… but still very uncomfortable. He also introduces a woman during the last third, which brings more tension, more drama to everything. You get a sense that she’s been experiencing the exact same thing as him, which makes the set-up even scarier. What the hell is going on?

I’m well aware this movie isn’t for everyone. It can be frustrating for someone not familiar with Japanese short movie horrors and the works of Tsukamoto and his colleagues. The length, something 40-ish minutes or so, is a great asset. It never turns boring or resorts to filler material. Haze is just what it is and nothing more or less. A brilliant piece of relentless Japanese cinema!

Wolfguy: Enraged Lycanthrope (Kazuhiko Yamaguchi, 1975)

It might be wrong, but I think my first Sonny Chiba experience was when watching Toho’s 1979 classic G.I. Samurai, aka Sengoku jieitai aka Timeslip aka Day of the Apocalypse (the last one was the “Swedish” title) and I fell in love instantly. Oh, not that I find him attractive or something like that (he’s not a bad looking man, but just not my style), but as an actor and persona. I fully understand he was a superstar during 20-30 years in Japan, and in the rest of the world mostly known for his highly entertaining Streetfighter films (I love when he slaps a guy in the back of the head and the eyes pop out! Poetry!). And you remember how the producers of some big budget Hollywood action film bragged about doing something that NEVER had been done before, using x-ray effects in a fight scene - but that’s something Sonny did years ago, in Yukio Noda’s 1977 uneven but fun Golgo 13. So Sonny is the man, in every way possible. It’s rare with someone who both is a competent action star AND can act.

This brings us to the utter madness called Wolfguy: Enraged Lycanthrope, produced by the greedy bastards over at Toei - who’s so expensive no one can afford licensing their titles. That’s sad, because Wolfguy is AWESOME! First of all, “wolfguy”? Love that. It’s… a bit slacker, a bit pothead-smoking-silliness just in the title. With that out of the way, lets take a look at the story.

Now, let me get this straight: I’m not totally sure I got everything right here, but I THINK Sonny is a journalist, going undercover - as a cop or gangster or something. I’m not sure. The movie begins with him chasing a man who suddenly stops and literary getting ripped apart by an unseen tiger-force. Yes, a superimposed tiger. Blood and gore. Fun, fun, fun. We slowly learn that Sonny is a werewolf, from a werewolf family (in a couple of surprisingly touching and powerful flashbacks, not sure it they’re shot for this film or borrowed an earlier Toei production). This makes him more or less invincible when there’s a full moon nearby (even during the day, so I guess it’s something very special with him)! That bad thing is that the yakuza wants him to work with them, and they can offer a lot of money - but of course, Sonny refuses! Danger ahead!

Wolfguy: Enraged Lycanthrope is a very fractured film. It can really decided if it’s a gangster melodrama, a horror film or a martial arts flick. It opens with a bang, gore and violence, wacka wacka guitars and gorgeous nighttime shots of Shinjuku, then kinda slows down while Sonny investigates this strange curse killing people (the one with the tiger), kicking butt from time to time, and then it ends with a truly bizarre sequence where… I won’t say, but it’s cool. The last half hour reminded me of First Blood actually, but years earlier.

So is it any good? Oh hell yeah! I loved Wolfguy! It might be one of my favorite Sonny Chiba flicks from now on, even if it’s far from perfect and ends pretty abrupt (I get the feeling that a sequel was planned, but nothing came out of it). What makes it worth watching and awesome is the mix of genres, the gore and violence - and in the middle Sonny with those big puppy eyes and a sadistic grin on his face as he breaks limbs left and right.

Wolfguy: Enraged Lycanthrope is a prime example of far out, semi-psychedelic Japanese genre cinema. It’s just a damn pity the only way to see it is through a TV-rip and with fansubs. This is a film that deserves a HD, widescreen, uncut (the TV-print is uncut, but still…) release from Arrow Video - for example. They did a great job with the Stray Cat Rock box, so why not give Toei a try and make them release some goodies for fans all over the world to enjoy? I would buy them without hesitation!

Demons (Lamberto Bava, 1985)

Giovanni Frezza, the in euro cult circles, famous child actor did his last part in Lamberto Bava’s Demons. It’s very fitting. This is a boy that graced us with his appearance in Lucio Fulci’s The House by the Cemetery, Lamberto Bava’s A Blade in the Dark, Enzo Castellari’s The New Barbarians and Lucio Fulci’s criminally underrated Manhattan Baby. That’s quite an impressive career of Italian genre cinema. In Demons he’s 13 years old and I guess it was time for him to focus on school and getting a real job.

And it’s a great farewell, on several levels. The last we see of Giovanni is in a jeep, going away from the hoards of Demons chasing him and his family (and the leads of Demons also, but that’s another story). This is not just a goodbye to us, the audience, this is a goodbye to Italian horror movies. The Italian movie industry couldn’t go any further after Demons was released. It’s extremely gory, it lovingly embraces the colorful neon-style of 80’s cinema, the dialogue is outrageous, the screenplay is batshit insane and stuff just happens. There’s no logic in it, helicopters falls through the roof when they’re needed and just when characters say something will happen it happens.

If Demons was mention in the Guinness Book of Records it would be under the headline “The Most Unsubtle Movie Ever Made”. But this also makes it such a good movie, because it dares to go where few others would stray. I’m not sure who was the driving force behind it, but considering Lamberto Bava’s dislike of gore it wouldn’t surprise me if Dario always was at hand, checking so the movie would deliver what he promised the distributors. And it’s very gory. I always forget how much until I watch it again, and there’s so any decapitations, ripped flesh, gouged eyes and chopped off limbs - it’s almost like a dream come true.

No, it’s IS a dream come true, a movie that only could have been released in 1985 and still be a classic today. It literally have everything you want from a movie like this, everything. Sometimes you see a poster or a cover and your imagination starts running amok. You see so much stuff in front of you, stuff you want to happen. And then you realize the filmmakers deep inside are pretentious assholes who think they’re doing a seminal, subtle future horror classic and brags about how genre cinema becomes more effective and scary without showing the money shots. Let me quote Roman Polanski:

“I don't really know what is shocking. When you tell the story of a man who is beheaded, you have to show how they cut off his head. If you don't, it's like telling a dirty joke and leaving out the punch line.”

And that’s something everyone involved in Demons understood. The actors are in on it, Lamberto obviously are also, almost like he’s trying to outdo what Argento probably asked him to do. The set up, inside a cinema with Italian genre posters on the walls sets the tone of it; this is a meta-movie, a celebration of all things Italian horror. It don’t even try to be serious or subtle, this is it. This is the definition of 80’s horror,  gory splatter, a euro cult music video, a senseless video rental classic, drinking game brilliance, tongue-in-cheek madness, spiked hair fashion. A cocaine-fueled neon orgasm.

When Giovanni Frezza leaves us at the end of Demons it’s not only us, the audience, he’s leaving. He’s saying goodbye to Italian genre cinema, not only for his own sake, but in general. Sure, Demons 2 came and didn’t make the same kind of graphic blood splash - even if it’s a movie I’ve come to like more and more over the years. It just never became the same thing after Demons, like someone penetrated the Italian genre cinema balloon with a needle right through the eye… and all was gone.

Because what the hell should the filmmakers do after Demons? It’s impossible to beat.

Forgotten Naschy: Wax (Víctor Matellano, 2014)

It might be wrong to include this in what’s basically a Paul Naschy festival, but it’s important because it’s the last time - maybe ever - he was used in a movie. In this case his voice, an old theater recording - in combination with a quite primitive animatronic doll of him! Weird? Yeah, and the whole movie is pretty weird in many ways, not necessary good ones either. Anyway, Wax is directed by Victor Matellano, famous for his documentary about Spanish horror - Zarpazos! Un Viaje Por El Spanish Horror (2013) - and the upcoming remake of José Ramón Larraz’ Vampyres, using the same title. Wax is an oddity, a mix of found footage and normal movie, claims to be horror, but never feels like it.

Jimmy Shaw is young hotshot journalist Mike, who gets one mission from his boss, played by Geraldine Chaplin: stay in the mysterious wax museum for the whole night and document everything that happens. That’s nothing for a young cocky stud, and he gladly accepts the challenge. The whole museum is rigged with cameras, which seems more to be there for security than for shooting the segment. Slowly the place starts affecting Mike, and at the same time someone starts stalking him in the darkness. His boss calls and tells him that one of the person being portrayed as a wax figure is doctor Knox (Jack Taylor), a sadistic serial killer and cannibal - and he escaped from prison this morning!!!! Guess if Mike shits his pants!

I would say Wax is a missed opportunity. You have a great location - a real wax museum it seems - and a cast of legends! Hell, even Antonio Mayans makes a cameo. Why come up with such a weak story? Well, the story is well-used in horror movie history - the reality show. Always easy to poke fun at without really so much about it, and you can do a lot found footage style. I don’t mind it, it can be fun. And filmmakers aren’t on the wrong track either, it could have been good - and it looks great. But everything just fizzles out, only to live up a bit during the last half hour. But before that it’s just an idiot walking around talking to his camera and looking at creepy wax figures.

Instead it’s Jack Taylor who carries the burden here, and that burden is to make the movie worth to wax. Taylor is a fabulous actor and what I understand this movie was more or less written directly for him. Maybe I’m extreme here, but for me Taylor has always been that suave gentleman with a white cotton suit getting laid at least time per movie directed by Jess Franco. A super-pro character actor, who also makes an excellent performance in the criminally underrated The Ninth Gate. He have never been Uncle Horror for me. But he’s still great a part more suitable for Howard Vernon and lends some class to the torture parts.

I’m afraid to say the gore isn’t as excessive as I hope it to be. It’s pretty lame, at least until one scene at the end. Or maybe it’s me who have seen so many genre movies now I really don’t get affected by any cinematic violence anymore? It wasn’t enough hardcore horror for, instead everything ended up in a weak media satire - done a million times before and a million times better.

So...I hate this movie now? No, I’m not. I kinda enjoyed. Wasn’t terribly bored, but ultimately disappointed. See it for Jack Taylor, or the voice of Naschy, or Geraldine Chaplin. Which reminds me, she have one of the best scenes in the film, at the end. She’s walking down a hallway and stops for a microsecond, glancing at a wax figure of her father. It’s a subtle and expected wink, but no less a good one. Two different kinds of cinema meets for a moment - and in the middle is the ever-provoking reality television.