Schmollywood Babylon

Doomsday (Neil Marshall, 2008)

Shame on you all. Not me included. So shame on you for not realizing the genius of Neil Marshall’s Matryoshka doll of surprises; Doomsday! Okay, sure. I admit I wasn’t THE ultimate fan when it came or the first time I revisited it, but I thought it was a great, awesome movie with a slightly underwhelming final act. But this time...wow, you know, this might be the coolest movie no one cared about when it came out.

So…. why?

It’s simple: Neil Marshall have recreated what seems to be the boyhood dream of every post apocalyptic warrior out there, and I’ve always admired those who make exactly what they want without caring of box office etc. That alone is worth an extra star. The recent examples I can mention now is John Carter and Jupiter Ascending, excellent, personal and slightly childish films - super flops. It’s like the audience, affected by humorless critics wants to give the actual word “fun” a bloody bitch-slap because it’s too damn fun.

There’s nothing to hide here. Doomsday is a fanfilm. It’s pure fanboy masturbation, and we all know that mastrubation IS awesome. A good time and easy forgotten. That might be one of  Doomsday’s few problems. It’s too similar to other movies. As a fan of exploitation I love that, it’s something that’s a part of the genre. It belongs there, like from Hollywood stolen stories in Bollywood cinema. Without this, it will lose the power of the experience. It’s basically a ritual that has to be performed to be able to cast a spell over us fanboys. Neil Marshall wisely decided to divide Doomsday to four different tributes, all separated quite clear:

The Dystopian Future (A right-wing, fascistic party has taken control over the UK, and is controlled by an even more sinister military police-esque organisation. This could easily have been a part of James McTeigue’s intelligent and uncomfortable V for Vendetta or Alfonso Cuarón’s stunning Children of Men.

The Urban Post-Apocalypse (Complete with primitive urban warriors á la Escape From New York or hell, even The Warriors - including their Italian counterparts, like Escape from the Bronx and 2019: After the Fall of New York).

The Dark Middle Ages (Almost a non-sexualized pornographic view of knights and all that, complete with super bloody battles and roaring crowds. See Ironclad and Marshall’s own criminally underrated Centurion for other movies of this kind, like a grown-up Peplum on cocaine instead of steroids).

The Wasteland Apocalypse (Yep, the final action scene is basically a tribute to George Miller’s grimy revenge classic from 1979, Mad Max, until the second half when it turns into the sequel The Road Warrior, but in a lot lesser scale - and to be fair, far from as good as Miller’s 7 minute chase at the end of the latter movie).

Add to this an array of nudges to John Carpenter, from using the Albertus font in the pre- and end credits, naming a character Carpenter, using very Carpenter-esque music and making a lot of the movie looking and feeling like Escape from New York, but with a cure instead of the president. I for one discovered a scene so similar to Castellari’s Escape from the Bronx, where a soldier gets his face bashed in by a post-apocalyptic club! But through Axelle Carolyn, Marshall’s partner in life and career, I learned that he haven’t seen the Castellari movie and that it mostly just was a lucky shot! Cool anyway, because I think he probably saw it in his teens and then it kinda was implanted in his subconsciousness until it finally came to help writing the script!

Doomsday (Neil Marshall, 2008)

Escape from the Bronx (Enzo G. Castellari, 1983)

My biggest problem with Doomsday has actually always been the final chase scene, which always felt underwhelming to me. I get the same feeling now, but I was prepared this time and it came out a lot better than last time. It’s slick, violent and makes use of the South African landscapes in a sensational way. The action itself feels a bit claustrophobic, but still delivers a couple of brilliantly executed stunts (the best one is in The Urban Post-Apocalypse part though, when a stuntman on a motocross really makes a fine crash into a train station entrance) and lots of blood. Which kinda is what I usually need when I watch movies like this.

It sets up for a sequel, and it’s fucking annoying that it never came to fruition. I blame you haters out there, and you who like sheep obviously avoided the film just because some wannabe fanboy wank wrote a bad review of it (a thing that often happens after a director had success with at least two brilliant films after another, like Neil Marshall’s Dog Soldiers and The Descent). Shame on you. Now, I know you’re all good-hearted boys and girls - and I forgive you all, so just go and watch Doomsday again, with your eyes open for FUN, FUN and a little bit more FUN. Mmmmkay?

Zombie Cats from Mars (Montetré, 2015)

WARNING: THIS REVIEW CONTAINS WAY TOO MANY CAT PUNS!

“This film is based on catual events”. That opening statement kinda sets the tone for Zombie Cats from Mars, a micro budget horror-drama-scifi-comedy-spoof-comingofage-weirdo adventure from director Montetré and writer Ryan Cloutier. As you can understand I couldn’t stop myself the first time I heard about the project, supported it on Kickstarter - which didn’t reach all the way through, and finally pre-ordered a blu-ray copy. I’m a self-confessed crazy cat guy, currently living in a suburb apartment with my partner Gregory and two cats: the small and bitchy Kitek and the younger, more naive and quite shy (though we’re convinced he’s just having a very high integrity) Buster. You can see a lot of photos of them on Instagram if you use the hastags #KitekTheKat and #BusterTheBastard.

Anyway now when the cat’s out of the bag, what the heck is Zombie Cats from Mars? It’s… well, it’s actually a bit hard to describe, beclawse it’s a straaaaange kitten. We follow some of the good folks in typical american suburb:  teenager Billy (Brasen Koehler) who tries to find his identity as young gay man, his pal wacky Cameron (Estevan Muñoz) who have the hots for Billy’s mom (Stephanie Leet), Lester (Joon Rhee) and his wife Carolyn (Cheyenne Leigh Shaw) who are fighting to get a child etc. One night Billy and Cameron witnesses a small UFO over their hood, and what we see - but they don’t - is that a cat with glowing red eyes crawls out of it! Soon every cat in the neighbourhood is infected with the alien cat virus!!! Cat-astrophe!!!

It’s a lot of stuff going on in ZCFM, there’s more than few characters to keep control over as the audience - which can be both good and bad! It’s a movie which toys with clichés and conventions, and does it a very off-beat original way. Sometimes it feels like we’re visiting the set of a John Waters film and sometimes it’s social-realism cinema, kitten sink melodrama and then phasing over to corny, 50’s sci-fi spoof and almost purre surrealism. There’s instances where the humor and drama doesn’t reach all the way, but most of the time it actually works.

What surpurrses me the most is the cast, which is more competent than I ever could believed. Most of them are good, or even great (but we’re not talking about any Claws Kinski’s here though), and if they’re not skilled actors they’re charismatic and gives everything they’ve got. One that obviously will be a bigger star sooner or later is Joon Rhee as Lester. He gives us a convincing, complex portrait of a character that could have been a stereotype (church going, semi-sad working man with a slightly strained relationship at home with his wife). I urge other filmmakers to take a look at his work. The freakiest character is the cat-holic priest, played with a lot of originality by Ernest Adams, who might chew the scenery - but delivers the purrformance in a good way.

As for the cats, they’re of course the highlight and main tailents of the show! Sometimes helped with the magic of fake paws and plush cat stand-in’s, they goes from looking slightly bored to what the fuck is going on to edgy and furocious in their attacks against us humans! Which also comes to what I think is the most important thing with Zombie Cats from Mars: the love for cats. Made in cooperation with a Vancouver organisation called Furry Friends Cat Rescue, who both provided cats and cat handlers for the production. There’s way too many people out there who gets a kitten, get tired of taking care of it and let it go - which is animal abuse, cats are domesticated  creatures - they like humans, they depend on humans (no matter how bitchy them seem to be) and we need to take care of them, give him love and a home.

Sure, Zombie Cats from Mars isn’t purrfect. I’m a professional myself in the biz (IMDB, acting site and Filmcafé) and might have done things differently. But that’s a whole different tail. Because ZCFM is a fun film, made with passion and love for the subject - sometimes bordering to the absurd (I mean, these cats can do everything - including handling a saw or a gun) which just makes it even more awesome! Looking at the bonus material on the blu-ray you’ll see so much people doing what the love and doing it with care. There’s a one hour making-of, mostly a fly on the wall project, which is interesting, a fun out-takes section, some complete scenes from behind the camera where you see the trouble of handling cats, there’s a makeup and gore featurette and a lot more.

What, did the cat got your tongue? If you don’t believe me, just watch it!

You can buy the movie at the production company’s homepage, and please don’t download. I don’t give a cats ass if you download Transformers 9, but stay out of destroying for the indies - especially those who’s still doing it because it’s fun and awesome and to do something good. It’s worth the money, and even if you don’t like it you’ve supported something with passion. Don’t accept copycats!

If Zombie Cats from Mars treats their future right, we might have a cult hit here - a lovingly homage to b-movies and teen angst, a perfect film for the Rocky Horror audience and us who might or might not have some kind of semi-sick obsession with our furry friends the cats. And for you who wonder, yes, Zombie Cats from Mars is perfect while enjoying some cat nip ;)

Alien from the Deep (Antonio Margheriti, 1989)

When Antonio Margheriti left us in 2002 he gave us an impressive amount of diverse cinema. It’s easy - if you have no idea what you’re talking about - to dismiss Margheriti as just another gun for hire, a competent craftsman - but the more you watch the more you see what a fantastic filmmaker he was. He worked in all genres, but one thing is makes them all connected: his love for miniatures. If you look at it with critical eyes his miniatures wasn't even needed sometimes, but he built them anyway - which makes me think he had a lot more passion than you could expect. While he was more or less retired the last years he still squeezed out four of his most entertaining films; Indio 1 and 2, the off-beat Virtual Weapon (Terence Hill as a deceased cop coming back as a hologram, if I don’t remember it wrong!) and one of my personal favorite, the insane and extremely well-made monster movie Alien from the Deep.

On the surface a rip-off of Alien and Aliens, but it actually bears very little resemblance to its Hollywood cousins. An evil company, managed by the always watchable Charles Napier, dumps nuclear waste inside a volcano. A tough female reporter and her trustworthy cameraman infiltrates the area around the facility to capture the crime on video - but soon they’re in trouble, mysterious earthquakes hits the area and something is crawling underneath them, ready to attack and destroy!

Something like that. I’ve never focused so much on the story in Alien from the Deep, except that it’s very entertaining. The thing is, and it’s very visible in almost every movie by Margheriti, is that I’ve heard that shooting with him always was a blast. He was a nice man, he loved to have fun and the atmosphere on the set was always good - even when Klaus Kinski was involved. Margheriti was famous for his excellent food also, which probably added positive feelings to the experience. You’ll notice the same thing here, everyone seems to have fun - and Margheriti might be one of the few non-Filipino directors who could make that country look beautiful. Often it’s dirty, gritty, nasty, sloppy - but here it looks like - almost - a million bucks, a place you want to go to.

The cast is also inspired. Marina Giulia Cavalli is a good heroine, almost up to Sigourney Weaver when it comes to take matters into her own hands. Napier is always good and along him a few familiar faces from movies produced in the Philippines, Luciano Pigozzi (Alan Collins, “the Italian Peter Lorre”) and David Brass, who you last could see in Bruno Mattei’s The Jail (together with another genre legend, Mike Monty). But the lead character is of course the alien, the monster. A huge motherfucking beast, in the beginning we just see a giant claw, but then it’s a god damn kaiju showing up. Not especially movable, it seems to literally be hanging on strings, but it looks cool - it’s an original design and it’s bloodthirsty like hell, ripping people to shreds!

Margheriti never did better miniatures than in Command Leopard (that exploding airplane is still fucking awesome), but the stuff here looks great. Often in broad daylight, I guess I’m not the only one thinking of Japanese miniatures, detailed like hell and often destroyed in a blooming flower of fire. I love it so much!

No, Alien from the Deep didn’t win any Oscars, but to hell with those - it’s an helluva entertaining monster movie, packed with action, stunts, some gore, explosions and of course an alien-monster-thingie directly from the volcano of our imagination. I, personally, seriously doesn't need more to feel good.

Escape from Tomorrow (Randy Moore, 2013)

I've always had a problem as a child to be happy when my parents - often just my mother - made me do fun stuff. Celebrating my birthday, going to the zoo or the circus...or spending a day at an amusement park. There’s not many amusement parks - or theme parks - in Sweden, at least compared to the United States. But I can easily put myself in Escape from Tomorrow, in it’s use of Disney Land and Disney World as a horrifying, shallow, fake, plastic background to the melodrama of a couple on the brink to madness. As you all know Escape from Tomorrow was shot guerrilla style in these locations, and the nerve-wracking tension doing that is present in the movie itself. But it’s hard to describe in words.

Jim (Roy Abramsohn) and Emily (Elena Schuber) have just arrived to Disney World, Florida, with their two kids Sara and Elliot. While admiring the view from the balcony Jim gets a call from his boss: he’s fired. Trying to cope with this he pretends like nothing and goes on a journey into the world of Disney, only to find himself trapped in a nightmare - hallucinations, more and more aggressive spoken exchanges with Emily and two french teenage girls who he starts to fantasizing about about. The longer they stay on the grounds, the crazier his visions gets - or are they just visions…?

I mean, I hate amusement parks. Not because they have clowns or whatever, its that they’re there to force humans to pretend to be happy and have fun. Nothing bores me more than fake entertainment, so even in movies and music. It’s easy to spot the emptiness in it, and it becomes even clearer if you look around and see all the stressed mothers and fathers, trying to cope with their kids unreal expectations - and their own feelings about spending one or several days in a place only constructed for them to spend money. All this is visible in Escape from Tomorrow, so is the heart-aching melodrama between Jim and Emily (Roy and Elena is perfect in the parts, and you can sense that their own stress shooting a movie like this makes them very, very spot-on in their performances. I guess there wasn't much time for several takes), which is something that is very real.

The movie goes of course further than being a relationship drama. Most of it is shot inside the amusement parks, with clever and sometimes horrifying changes made with digital effects to the countless plastic figures smiling at you. Along the way it blends this drama with sci-fi and kidnapping, darkness of the human minds - not only Jim’s and Emily’s, but several other characters. It might seem a bit done to tell yet another story about a middle-aged man loosing the grip on reality, himself and his family, but the acting from Roy Abramsohn puts the character in a spot where we really don’t support his pathetic erotic mind-escapades with teenage girls, we the audience is instead on the same side as Emily. Jim is a loser and he can’t help it, but it’s told through the eyes of someone - us - who can’t shake it off that’s his somehow a victim of his own decisions.

I don’t think Escape from Tomorrow is a perfect film, but there’s a reason for it. It’s shot in a way where it’s impossible to make it perfect, in secret on the property owned by one of the biggest entertainment companies in the world, a company which spells G R E E D. It’s shocking how much director Randy Moore and his crew got from their countless visits to the amusement parks. It’s brave, it’s very brave! If you’re familiar with history of the movie you WILL be on the edge of your seat not just because of the drama, but also because you know how close it was for the actors and crew to get caught doing this. This is not the first someone have done this. In 2002 Reflections of Evil was released, the brilliant and fucking insane drama by Damon Packard (please, someone, give him a couple of millions!). Parts of it was shot, if I remember it correctly, at Universal Studios in LA (I think, please correct me if I’m wrong) and he transformed one of the rides to a Shindler’s List ride, with Nazi tour guides and everything!

Doing what Randy Moore did is a risky move, because I found myself several times focusing only on the fact that they was shooting in secret instead on the actual drama, which I guess wasn't the purpose. Thankfully a great cast and clever storytelling hides the gimmick most of the times and gives us some stellar and surreal drama.

I’m not totally sure who the movie wants to reach, which in my opinion is a good thing. It creates a sense of instability on the life of the viewer; from the drama, the guerrilla-style film-making and deep inside, our fear of making a huge beloved corporation upset and sad, even if they don’t that sympathy.

Oh, and I hated amusement parks as a child. I couldn't stand them. Mostly because I could see how everyone around me acted. Happy Happy Joy Joy... or not. It's all fake, friends. All fake. 

Escape from Tomorrow is out from Njuta Films in Sweden NOW. Go get it.

The Man Who Saves the World (Çetin Inanç, 1982)

Some might say Turkish Star Wars is trash - for me it’s unadulterated anarchy, a lovingly fuck you in the face of mighty business empires, a healthy dose of kicking up and in order to survive and have a fun time at the same time. The producers of Dünyayi Kurtaran Adam probably didn’t have any deeper meanings with their little sci-fi rip-off, except earning a quick buck at the Turkish cinema. But like yesterdays text about Platoon the Warrior, it’s possible to create something bigger, something more important from something small and on the surface pure banality.

It’s impossible to actually write down a recap of the storyline, a little bit because I watched in a version without out subtitles, but also because the story seems so frail, so thin even without understanding the dialogue. It doesn't matter anyway, because I had a lot of fun and I think that’s what the intended audience wanted also when they bought a cheap ticket to Cüneyt Arkin’s latest asskicking adventure. Arkin, the dashing former acrobat who’s still a superstar in Turkey even if he seems to have retired, began his career in a Russian circus visiting Istanbul. He learned all the stunts involving horses and became a matinée idol. When martial arts became the fad all over the world he learned karate and history was made.

In Turkish Star Wars he and Aytekin Akkaya crashes at a mysterious planet ruled by an evil sorcerer. Arkin falls in love and manages to produce a son together with a blonde woman. I think. Or he just falls in love with a single mom on an alien planet. Alien yeah, this planet is packed with aliens. Often simple plastic party masks or very quickly made costumes - some look quite good on a distance. I kinda love the red alien creatures, like big twisted teddy bears. And then it ends quite happy.

No, it’s not meaning really to discuss the story. If you watch it you will be enjoyed by it, but you might have problem following the details. It’s wrong to say it’s a rip-off, because as you can see the story differs a lot from Star Wars. It’s not like the brilliant Seytan who copies The Exorcist so good it actually becomes good itself. This feels more like a spin-off, or a sequel, starting directly after a fight outside the Death Star (or Death Egg, considering they just squeezed in the widescreen Star Wars footage in a small 4:3 production). The Man Who Saves the World is it’s own twisted alien among exploitation movies from… yeah, all over the world.

What attracts me with it, and it goes with many Turkish films from the same time, is the unashamed love of filmmaking. I’m not kidding you, this is exactly like one of those backyard home video productions shot by boys who happens to own a toy gun or two. Even here the production just decides that a normal, earthly, location looks cool and uses it even if it breaks all the conventions of a proper science fiction or fantasy film. I was almost jumping with joy when the robot showing up at the end had its laser beams created by physically scratching them there direct on the negative. I remember a documentary about Peter Jackson where he shows the same thing, something he did with his friends in his parents garden. That, my friends, is movie magic.
The filmmakers and actors of Turkish Star Wars doesn’t give a fuck if the effects are realistic or if the story makes sense, as long as they have fun. That’s the impression you get after watching a movie like this, or maybe the best Cüneyt Arkin film I’ve seen so far: Vahsi Kan, the Turkish First Blood! It’s a daring thing to do that, to create something even if you can’t.

Movie making anarchy, that’s what it’s all about.

UK TV x 2: The Stone Tape (Peter Sasdy, 1972) / Alternative 3 (Christopher Miles, 1977)

Surprise! I write reviews from time to time, so it’s not only going to be my ramblings at the Schmollywood Babylon YouTube channel. I promise… ;)

Anyway...

It’s been one of those days today - active and busy, but still a typical sunday. And sundays are awesome. Not because a lot of people pilgrims to churches to give money to priests, pastors and whatever’s out there, feeding their life in luxury by thinking it’s for something good. Let me tell ya one thing, it’s nothing good in that, instead it’s just a way for the high and mighty to glorify themselves. But fuck them. It’s sunday and that means I’ve seen several movies, three so far - but I’m just gonna write about two of them now (the third will be the subject of the upcoming episode of The Human Centipod!).

Peter Sasdy’s The Stone Tape, written by the GENIUS Nigel Kneale (even if he hated Halloween 3 - but I forgive him!) is seriously one of the scariest TV-productions ever made. Maybe even it’s one of THE scariest movies ever made, believe me or not. Like almost all these UK productions from the 70’s you just need to accept the style of it: shot on some old-fashioned video system (I guess, I have no other explanation!), sometimes quite cheap sets and excellent actors doing their stuff like it’s on the theatre stage. Nothing wrong that, it’s like accepting the style of actors in Hong Kong or India - there’s storytelling traditions, nothing more than that. The Stone Tape is fronted by the groovy Michael Bryant and the dashing Jane Asher, both working for Ryan - an electronics company who just bought themselves a facility, an old castle/mansion/big stone house, especially to conduct experiments to find the new and cheap storage media - so even here Kneale was so before his time it’s almost silly. One day they experience a haunting, a woman appearing on top of some old stairs screaming like hell! Over and over again, the same scream, the same position. Can this be a recording? A new way of storing media, and not something supernatural?

This sets of one of the spookiest and most original ghost stories ever written and filmed. It’s very british, but that means there’s every little left to chance. It’s a very, very solid movie - as solid as the stones around the cast. There’s a lot of talking, which comes natural with these kind of productions, but what is said is also always there for a reason. Nothing is wasted. The ending a pure shocker, brilliantly directed by Sasdy (one of the finer genre directors in my humble opinions) and leaves you with a very uncomfortable feeling.

We jump a few years into the future, to 1977, when Alternative 3 was aired. It was originally meant as an April Fool’s joke that year, but due to a strike it wasn’t aired until june… which meant that it didn’t longer had a logical use as a joke. Instead it was aired and has since then alone created a conspiracy theory who’s alive and kicking even today. Tim Brinton is our host, a veteran newscaster and TV-man (and later also a member of british fascist party UKIP), which is the production’s biggest strength. Not that he was a asshole who later cuddled up with fascists, but that he was a boring, dry conservative without any sense of humour - at least on the outside. This gives Alternative 3 a shockingly effective realism. It’s not as realistic as, lets say 1992’s Ghostwatch, the acting and script is more forced, but the stiffness, the very serious tone completely lacking any kind of tongue-in-cheek, makes you believe in what you’re watching. The story yeah? It’s simple. It’s an epsiode of Science Report where they bring up the news that the UK is losing it’s greatest minds. Scientists especially are disappearing together with their families. What’s the reason behind this? Brinton and his team investigates, interviews friends and relatives, people in the business, finds some interesting footage which they during the final act manages to safe and air. And it’s out-of-this-world…

It’s fantastic premise and the storytelling is clumsy, but absolutely not bad. This is quality TV! But what’s even more bizarre is what happen the years after the first and (what I know) only airing on TV, a theory came up that what’s shown in this episode of Science Report actually is true. It’s all a cover-up! I’ve read articles on the net where people claim that it’s impossible to find a copy of it (it’s not, it’s out on DVD in the UK) and that the people involved are hard or impossile to find - not true either. People just want to believe in something. Alternative 3 is still very active in the conspiracy world (just try to google it, you will find a lot of very confused people) and it just proves how extremely effective it is as a TV-drama.

Both The Stone Tape and Alternative 3 is brilliant British TV, and a must for fans of well-written genre media. Both is out on DVD and easy to find, and there’s really no excuse for any of you for pass on these. They’re so damn good!

Howard the Duck (Willard Huyck, 1986)

Howard the Duck was maybe the coolest movie I knew when I was a kid. It’s not that today, but it’s far from as bad as people say. Instead it comes of as a quite offbeat, strange mainstream movie made by someone who have no clue what’s funny or not. That’s not necessary a bad thing, I dig stuff when it’s a bit awkward, when something is not in place. I’m not really familiar with the character Howard as a comic book character, and the second time I’ve seen him was in the Guardians of the Galaxy cameo. Which was fun, because that movie have a similar atmosphere as this film - except it’s a lot better and a LOT funnier. But I’m not gonna spend this review bashing Howard the Duck, instead I’m gonna focus on the good things, stuff that people tend to forget over time.

Howard is a duck who lives a relatively quiet life on the planet of Duckworld, until the day he’s sucked out from his apartment by a strange beam and brought to earth, right in the darkest alley possible. After a couple of first shocking moments at the planet of hairless monkeys, he meets Beverly (Lea Thompson), who with her band Cherry Bombs tries to make the big time. It’s not going well, but after Howard takes care of her sleazy manager life seems to go in a better direction. But he miss home and when he gets a chance to be sent back - through the same beam that brought him there - he says yes… but something goes terribly wrong; a horrifying being called the Dark Overlord enters their life, and he wants to bring more of his friends to earth! Only Howard and his friends can stop him!

You can’t deny the legendary status Howard the Duck have. It’s still a pop culture phenomena, not necessary because everyone think it’s good, but because it’s so bizarre. Me? I think it’s a good movie. Flawed, but extremely well-made and with a certain edge I dig. My boyfriend Gregory had never seen it - it’s a scandal, I know - but he expected something more family friendly, something more lame. But Howard the Duck have a weird mix of very adult, often sexually related humor, and childish shenanigans. The character of Phil Blumburtt, a charming and scene-chewing Tim Robbins, is right out from a typical American family movie - he could have been a character somewhere in Honey, I Shrunk the Kids! or something like that. Lea Thompson’s Beverly is more mature, intelligent, from a teen oriented dramedy and the you have Jeffrey Jones who’s downright scary as doctor Walter Jenning, who happens to get posssessed by the Dark Overlord! Howard himself is a cocky, self-proclaimed hero - but never too asshole-ish. Not saying I would like to spend time with him on a deserted island - I would probably make stew of him sooner or later!

The script is pretty thing, but fun characters make it work all the way through. The monster-part comes in like an afterthought, when it probably could have continued as a pure surreal, wacky and crazy comedy about Cherry Bombs and their new featherly manager. I’ve read some complains about the special effects in Howard the Duck, but to be honest: they look great. The duck-suit is quite impressive and life-like, even if those cold blue Donald Pleasence-eyes on Howard can be disturbing. I’ve read they spent 2 million dollars on the duck, and it obviously works. The visual effects, the matte paintings and the stop-motion monster at the end looks cool and gives a very comic book feeling to the film, which is a damn hard thing to do.

Anyway, I really like Howard the Duck. I think it’s a fun film - which could have used a lot more work on the script, which is where the problem lies: it just lacks depth. The characters and their goals are fun, but never makes you care to 100%. Maybe it’s time for a new adventure? I’m in, I will watch it. Wouldn’t you?

Village of the Damned (John Carpenter, 1995)

John Carpenter is not only one of my favorite genre directors, he’s also the favorite genre director of more or less everyone else who have the slightest interest in horror films. His career has so far also been very even - even if some people would like to argue about that - but just look at what he’s done, even the worst movie is pretty high up on the entertainment scale. I even love Ghosts of Mars (and I think many are with me on that nowadays, it’s been re-evaluated since it’s initial release). I’ve been planning to review The Ward for quite a while now, but that’s also a film which still boosts the amazing Carpenter-quality but instead lacks of a very bad ending, which kinda makes it less attractive to watch again. But back the movie of today, Village of the Damned. I remember I saw it on tape when it was released in Sweden and instantly forgot everything about it. So is it so weak? I popped in my new blu-ray recently to give it a spin, and maybe see it with adult eyes…

During a normal day in the little town of Midwich something happens, sending everyone into a black-out - some of them dying in accidents related to this. When they finally wake up the town is surrounded by military, press...but no one knows what's going on. Well, until some time later when they discover every woman in town is pregnant! In a fit of conservatism everyone decides to not make an abortion, and nine months later a ton of super-smart, white-blonde babies are born. As they start growing up the more weird they get, manipulating and destroying - and killing! In all this we follow the honest doctor Alan (Christopher Reeve) and the child his gave birth to. He’s not the only one suspecting this can be more serious than they ever could imagine, and he decides to come up with a plan to stop it all!

Oh, that’s one of the crappiest recaps I’ve written. I hate this part of reviews. It’s just… I don’t know, it’s the only thing I often skip when I read reviews on other sites. If I was smart I would just write it like this:

A small town is shocked to discover that all women have become mysteriously pregnant. Heroic doctor Alan (Christopher Reeve) decides to investigate and take the matter into his own hands.

But NOOOOOOO. I’m too stupid. Anyway, as a grown man creeping closer to forty I appreciated Village of the Damned more than when I saw it during the nineties, but it’s still Carpenter’s weakest films. There’s a few highlights here and there - I always loved the barbequed man for example - and the cast is very nice, from Reeve to Kirstie Allen as the government doctor keeping secrets from him. Other Carpenter veterans like George “Buck” Flowers and Peter Jason makes the movie even more enjoyable. Mark Hamill plays a priest, in a quite underwritten role - but he’s good, and Michael Paré of all people have a very short-lived role - too short actually.

I like parts of it. The small town atmosphere reminds me of the small town in In the Mouth of Madness, the first part is actually very good - even if it’s a bit too TV-esque. It also lacks the creativity of Carpenter, and feels very ordinary. It turns for the worst in the last half where it goes on and and on with scenes which feels very uninspired and boring. The finale is okay, but after a boring 45 minutes before that you’ve lost interest in the story and the characters. I have very few memories of the first movie adaption from 1960, but I think this story is ripe for a new version soon. Carpenter didn’t deliver what we’ve expected from him here.

But if you’re a John Carpenter aficionado it’s a must see, of course. Just don’t expect something out of the ordinary.

Zardoz (John Boorman, 1974)

I love John Boorman’s Zardoz for the same reason I love Andrzej Zulawski’s Possession: I always forget the killer ending. Both movies have a couple of huge twists, or at least twisted turning points, not in the same forced way as the Saw films or any giallo, but something so out of the blue it becomes brilliant. I’m very aware that few people use the word brilliant in the same meaning as Zardoz, but it’s hard to deny it actually works very good. It delivers the magic, the magic of absurdity - and therefore it’s a successful movie. But let me get back to that later.

In the year 2293, a post-apocalyptic future, a god named Zardoz is feeding the people with what he claim they need - in order to make them produce food for the rich. One day an exterminator, one of the soldiers - Zed (Sean Connery) - climbs aboard the floating stone god Zardoz and discovers it’s a ship, and it takes him back to a society which lives in overabundance - but also uses a form av terror to keep their people in control. If you disobey you’re aged and therefore loses your youthful attractiveness, growing slowly senile. Zed wants to change this, and soon the rich and powerful sees their community crumble by the hands of a brute.

Alright, back to the magic of Zardoz. On the surface a childish, strange flick with Connery wandering around in Scotland wearing silly clothes. But what make it work is that it’s constant. Like Logan’s Run it has a constant quality, which might be silly, but the constant silliness makes it very, very even. You know what to expect and it never bores you. Zulawski’s Possession don’t have that silliness, it just makes a sudden turn of events after teasing it for two hours. Zardoz takes the same form of absurdity and twists it a little bit more, referencing one of the most famous children’s stories ever written (which I won’t reveal here, spoilers you know) and that reference is there in front of us all the time, just like the killer in Deep Red. I love stuff like that.

In 1974 Sean Connery found himself in difficulties getting hired. After Bond he just didn’t get the quality parts he wanted, and he had to take on some weirder films. Zardoz is probably the most bizarre film in his filmography, but even odder is the director; John Boorman. Just coming from his biggest success ever, Deliverance, a gritty and modern thriller set in the wilderness of American - and suddenly he’s making a cheesy, wild, slightly pretentious sci-fi fantasy in the north of the British isles.

If it only had been an ounce more subtle, it would have been considered to be a modern classic instead of the mentally unstable cousin from the country, but ignoring that fact it still works very good. The idea of a bunch of unhappy elitists, living in some fucked-up countryside dream home, feeding the wild masses with an imaginary god who gives them food and weapons - and someone discovering this, crawling aboard the giant floating god - is fucking brilliant. The drama that unfolds afterwards is like a kinder version of Saló, but without the teens getting sexually molested and instead Sean Connery fucking his brain out on a Scottish farm.

What’s dated is of course the sets, the clothes, the use of mirrors and sometimes the very British theatrical acting. But because it’s there all the time you accept it. I wish Boorman would use more of the darkness and grittiness he gave us so brilliantly in Deliverance, or maybe the super-stylish beautiful Excalibur some years later. Zardoz is a wicked movie, but also chaotic and never really sure what leg it should stand on. So it’s one of those films that easily could alienate the viewers, and it’s done that a lot.

Maybe we, the viewers, needs to distance ourselves from the age it was made in, see it as a separate entity, a strange being of its own. One thing is for sure, Zardoz will stay with us, to the other side of the rainbow.

Roswell (Jeremy Kagan, 1994)

RAAF Captures Flying Saucer On Ranch in Roswell Region
Roswell Daily Record, Tuesday, July 8, 1947.

There’s few words who still generates so much discussions as that fateful headline in July, 1947. A couple of weeks before Kenneth Arnold spotted the flying discs who officially created the expression “flying saucer”, so imagine the shock when one of these things crashed and stunned the whole world. Or was it just a weather balloon. It’s said that over 500 witnesses since then have stated it was an alien spaceship, but probably more people stating the opposite. What I think? Well, to quote the famous X-Files poster: I Want To Believe, but without proof....well, evidence is what I need.

Jesse Marcel was the name of the military who first examined the crash site, and in Roswell he’s played by the always reliable Kyle MacLachlan. Without making it speculative or one-sided, Roswell is a damn fine TV-movie. Maybe one of the best, and both as a TV-production and on the subject itself. We first meet Jesse many years later when he’s retired and out in the desert - on the crash site - with his wife and son, and later on a convention for retired military staff stationed in the area. We then see everything in flashbacks, how he first heard of the site, the investigation, the cover-up and how the old Jesse still tries to find out the truth during the convention, during talks with former colleagues - which delivers more flashbacks, some alternative ones actually, from them. What is the truth? Jesse is the one we follow, and even if the teleplay leans towards his direction nothing is for sure, because everyone seem to have their own experience from that famous day in Roswell…

Maybe you need to have an interest from the beginning to really appreciate an ambitious production as Roswell, but I’m not so sure about that. When placing the story in a world where there’s several answers to the same question and just using Marcel as our host to get into this confusing world of disinformation you just have to follow him and see what he sees. Marcel - based on a real person (his son was a consultant on the production) - knows what he have seen, but when he meets people - both believers and nonbelievers - you notice how the information have transformed over the years, so how can we then know he’s remembering it right?

From Marcel’s point of view we get to see the crashed UFO, the strange pieces of unknown metal, impossible to destroy (but obviously it couldn’t stand a crash landing!). The longer the story goes we’re getting closer to the truth, including the bodies found, the surviving alien and the decision to never tell the public about the find. Roswell is such a well-made TV-movie, with an enormous attention to detail and packed with the finest character actors available - including Martin Sheen, Philip Baker Hall and Charles Martin Smith plus many, many familiar faces in even smaller parts. It’s a classy production, written with intelligence and depth.

Together with 1993’s Fire in the Sky, 1975’s The UFO Incident and 2006’s Altered, this is the best - and most serious - movies about the UFO subject.