Schmollywood Babylon

Ten years of Camp Slaughter: "Fluffy" remembers the shooting of a Swedish cheapo classic!

Richard Lidberg as Bunnyman and me, directly after my death!

Tonight it exactly ten years ago since I went to the premiere of Camp Slaughter. I took my boyfriend at the time, David, met up with my brother and his daughter, got together with my co-actors and the filmmakers for a good night's fun. That didn't happen.

For you who's not Swedish and not aware of the lack of horror films in this country this means nothing to you, but for me it was a living nightmare. I auditioned for Camp Slaughter maybe a year before, something like that. I was very nervous and the only thing I could remember was that the script described my character Fluffy as a "enormous, fat guy" or something like that. I know I'm fat - both then and now - but it still felt hard to read. I could somehow connect with Fluffy. I saw him as a closeted gay guy, obviously having a hard time meeting girls - and probably also boys. If he survived that night of terror he would probably have come out from the closet and started a new life far away from his shallow friends.

I still have the shirt and sandals ;)

During the meetings leading up the the shoot there was never any notion of us making a masterpiece, or a Swedish version of Halloween, Black Christmas, Friday the 13th etc - titles the distributor Sandrew Metronome tossed around in the marketing and on the cover. That's just absurd! The only titles that came up was stuff like Slaughter High, Friday the 13th part 5 etc etc. You know, the cheese that came during the end of the slasher era, the tackier and sillier movies at the end of the eighties. That was the plan and it was shot like that.

Another rumour that floated around like a turd in a swimming pool was the budget. The director mentioned sometime that if we had made the movie with a normal budget it would have been around two million kronor. Soon that was a fact. And oh boy, they used it against us. The budget was approximated 100 000 kronor (around 15000 dollars) and no one got payed what I know. That's absolutely nothing, not even today, for an advanced shoot like this.

One of the strongest memories from this time was how many marshallows I had to eat. There's outtakes where almost pukes because I've started to hate them so much. That was the thing with Fluffy, he loved these terrible candies more than anything. I also have one of the best kills in the movie, which is fun. I first gets stabbed in the throat and then get my head cut off. My body is later hanged up-side-down in a nearby tree. This was a lot of fun, except the tree-thing. I refused - because of my high anxiety to go up in the tree and I remember someone else from the crew had to double for me. They later didn't use that shot and instead I laid down on a green screen and they added me up in the tree through the work of digital magic. The other kill scene that's really good is when Erica Carlson gets stabbed to death in the van. It's not graphic, but it's brutal as hell!

The cast: Annika Marklund, me, Erica Carlson, Sofie Norman. Robert Arlinder and Christina Luoma.

I'm not sure how long the whole shoot took, but I spend around two weeks on set - one week actually shooting, and then I spent almost one week just hanging around because I had nothing better to do. It was a decent cast, for example Erica Carlson from the highly acclaimed Fucking Åmål (aka Show Me Love) from 1998 and Robert Arlinder who worked with Lars Von Trier in Dogville, he was the body double for Jeremy Davies. Also, in smaller part, you can see Sandy and Michael Mansson, veterans in movies, theatre and dance (including Abba - the Movie!). Christian Magdu has some kind of Hollywood career now, for example Illeana Douglas Easy to Assemble, a web series that aired betweeen 2008 and 2011. The only one with a real, cool career is  Sofie Norman - just check out her filmography! It was just me that got nowhere. 

Me trying to kiss an unconscious Erica Carlson.

In all fairness, I'm terrible in the movie. My Swenglish is not of this earth! If I could choose I wouldn't had tried out for the part, but one good thing is that I actually got a very good friend in the talented producer Anneli Engström - we're still hanging out from time to time! That's something! And I'm a MUCH better actor today, take a look at my official acting page!

The infamous add from the distributor.

It seemed like the critics first got the joke, the "thing" with the movie, what I've heard about the press screenings. They laughed at the right places - but more or less every review after was gave it the lowest rating possible, sometimes not even a rating. The distributor - it actually got a small release in cinemas - used the bad reviews in their marketing, trying to have fun with it, but it didn't work out. I mean, we're living in a country completely lacking humour, so it doesn't surprise me.

The time after the release was very disturbing. People, even the friendliest ones, suddenly saw it as their goal to be as mean as possible. It bullying, nothing else than that. It echoed my own time from school, which was hell - so I've stayed away from Camp Slaughter as much as possible afterwards - not to be reminded of the shit we all got. It's not a fantastic movie, but for what it was and considering the budget and time spent making it it's not that bad. It looks quite good (even if the director's experiments with the ratio wasn't that successful), it was probably among the first movies who tried to evoke the spirit of the eighties, the grindhouse feeling some might say, stuff that Ti West much later did with the masterful House of the Devil. With another director and a sharper script it could have been something - oh, and a slightly talented actor playing Fluffy. The production itself went very smooth. The producer did a fantastic job helping the movie, actors and crew, through a very tight schedule - and it's mostly because of her the final result become better than it should have been.

Something few people seems to aknowledge is how Camp Slaughter actually gained respect on the film market - to that degree that the production company got a job producing Stinger, the non-official sequel to the less rotten Tail Sting. But with the budget used - which was sooooo low - it's a miracle in its own way. Thanks to a good producer of course.

During the shoot of The Haunting of Camp Slaughter.

I participated in the DVD with two things. I did a commentary together with cast and crew, which was fun. I remember how the producer had to stop us because we were a bit to honest about a part of Stockholm which I even today was packed with inbreds and white trash - and I love white trash, I'm one myself. I also directed and edited a silly featuette about the real life hauntings the set was plagued by. Some fun stuff there, but if you look at it today it's amateurish. I shot new scenes for that little documentary, as a Criswell-style host sitting in his chair during a dark, stormy night. Not sure everyone got that joke.

Nowadays Camp Slaughter (not to be confused by the American movie Camp Slaughter that came in 2004, aka Camp Daze) is trapped in-between rightsholders and will never be able to be released again. I highly doubt it anyway. The two DVDs in existance - the Swedish release from Sandrew and the English friendly disc directly from the production company - are both extremely rare. If you find them, grab 'em!

Swedish DVD.

International DVD.

Antichristmas: Black Christmas (Glen Morgan, 2006)

I know Bob Clark’s original Black Christmas is considered a perfect, timeless classic - a pre-slasher that defined all the future slashers. And I guess those who say so are correct, at least in part. Because that side story with the cop, John Saxon, is terrible boring and just a filler to make the movie come up in a proper length. That might be why I like Glen Morgan’s colorful remake so much, it just ignores the boring things and goes directly for the jugular. Not saying it’s a masterpiece, but the gay man in me really appreciates the tackiness, the John Water-esque supporting characters, the gore and spectacular set-pieces. Okay, off to the story!

We first meet Billy at the asylum, sitting and preparing for his revenge. He once poked out the eye on his sister, killed his mother and stepfather and ate their flesh in the shape of gingerbread cookies. A nice guy, in every way possible. Did I mention he’s yellow also? Anyway, he escapes back to his old house that’s now a sorority house with a few girls who haven’t gone home to their vacations yet, but still ready to celebrate Christmas Eve! Let me tell you it will be a very bloody Christmas this year…

Alright, this is not a classic – but it’s so much fun! First of all, Morgan literary prays that awful thing called American Christmas (which is even worse than Christmas in Europe – not by much, but still…) with its hysterical contrived “cozy” atmosphere, colorful decorations, fucking Santas and saints in every damn corner and a constant snowing outside. It’s like a John Waters Christmas, right from the fifties – but with nudity, gore, sex and a lovely heretic attitude toward this overrated holiday!

Yeah, I know all of you love it and it’s a great way for you to meet up with your family and relatives, eat good food and get gifts. I respect that, as long you won’t force the Christmas spirit upon me! Back to the movie: the original is famous for its lack of explanations, but the remake delivers everything – and more – on this. This is what makes the original powerful and extra scary. We don’t know why or who. It’s just some crazy bastard killing people. But you couldn’t do that twice. I really enjoy the wonderful white trash back story, with Karin Konoval (brilliant!) as Billy’s psychotic and alcoholic mother. This story is intertwined with the modern story, as flashbacks and storytelling devices and it works great.  Andrea Martin, from the first Black Christmas, is fun and eccentric as the house mother Mrs Mac. It would have been fun to see Margot Kidder back in the saga, but hey, you can’t get everything!

The 2006 Black Christmas has everything except maybe that timeless quality some people crave. But the thing is that I think it’s better now than when I saw it the first time, eight years ago. It’s aged to the better, feeling quite fresh and tasteless in a cool way. The gore is good (but often very fast scenes of carnage), there are some very creative visual solutions and most of the actors seem to be in on what they’re doing. A macabre, twisted version of Christmas – the way I prefer it!

Antichristmas: Christmas Evil (Lewis Jackson, 1980)

Christmas Evil sounds a lot like a simple horror movie, one of those Santa slashers who still haunts the world. The original title, You Better Watch Out, fits a lot better to this super-dark comedy. It's so dark it's rarely funny, but still - in the tragedy it presents in glorious detail - is hilarious. 

Brandon Maggart is Harry Stadling and Harry likes Christmas. No, he doesn't even like it. He loves it. He loves it like no other man. Probably to hide the fact that he saw Santa "cuddle up" with momma as a kid and now he wants to protect everything that's the American Christmas for him. He has a book for bad people and one for good people, and if you happens to end up in the first - then you're smoked! So Harry leaves his job at a toy factory and slowly lets himself transform into Santa... a highly irritated, but still good-hearted Santa. A combination that means a dangerous Santa....

If I make my stand-point clear here: if Phase IV is the 2001 of killer ant flicks, this is the 2001 of psycho Santa flicks. And that's a fact. It's also so much more than a psycho Santa flick, a lot more. It's actually more of a black drama telling us the story of a man that physically and mentally slowly transforms into the one thing he loves the most and then have a hard time dealing with how he's gonna live up to it. Only that is a brilliant set-up and with Brandon Maggart in the lead, it's also becomes of the best comedies ever.

It's a hard movie to describe. While there's a few deaths here and there, and come cheap and fun gore, Christmas Evil basically shows us Harry getting annoyed. Or more introvert. There's some fine details, like the awesome Jeffrey DeMunn as Harry's worried younger brother, who can't stand his brother, but loves him so much. Complex characters in something called genre cinema is always welcome. Because who cares about empty characters? I don't.

I can understan why John Waters calls it one of the best Christmas movies ever, with it's black comedy, disturbing characters (Harry's affectionate behaviour towards children, especially small girls, IS very ambigious - but I think its beause he cares about children, not something else - but you can read it in many ways!) and the best Christmas atmosphere since Christmas Vacation and maybe the remake of Black Christmas. 

I'm not gonna spoil it (of course), but the ending is magical. I'm not sure what to make of it, because it could be read two ways - and both of them are beautiful in their own ways. Somehow it's the only way the movie could have ended to keep up the great quality of the rest. 

This is one of my shorter reviews in a while, but sometimes you don't need to write more. It's perfect as it is. 

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Antichristmas: Silent Night, Deadly Night III: Better Watch Out! (Monte Hellman, 1989)

Finally the franchise jumps the shark, but still is slightly disappointing. This time Monte Hellman – of all people – took over the directing duties, threw out the first script and more or less wrote a new one together with his old pal Steven Gaydos – who didn’t receive any credit at all. I wonder what happen behind the scenes of Silent Night, Deadly Night III: Better Watch Out, because the end result is everything but exciting – even if it should have been a blast with Bill Moseley as the now brain-dead Ricky (who took over the killer-role in the second film), who somehow wakes up and tries to hunt down the girl having a psychic link with him!

Yes. That’s the story. Moseley walks around with a glass helmet on top of his skull, stumbling around like a zombie attacking people from time to time with an array of weapons. There’s a boring side story with Robert Culp and his partner driving around in their car looking for Ricky, quite similar to what Hugo Stiglitz did in one of those Mexican zombie-flicks he did in the 80’s. Driving around, doing nothing, looking out the windows, talking to other cops and drive around some more. That’s cool when Stiglitz does it, and it should be cool with Culp doing it – but no siree!

I think Hellman had bigger plans for this movie. He wanted to make a more serious sequel, darker and grittier – but just by putting that glass helmet (or what you would call it!) on the head of a pale and sleazy Bill Moseley everything fails. He looks like a humanoid Robot Monster wandering around staring at people. Not sure if I buy the transformation from the wacky, muscular Ricky-Terminator to the Lizardman-Ricky, even if Moseley always is good, but maybe a bit wrongly casted in the part.

At least they don’t change the story from the first two parts, as the first sequel did. For example, in that one, it wasn’t a priest being shot by mistake but a deaf janitor – which also explains why he doesn’t react to what the police scream at him from behind.

You know, Better Watch Out is such an empty, pointless movie. It desperately ties to be something it isn’t, a Halloween-clone. I can’t say it worth watching, but still have a few fun scenes here and there – for example during the final when Ricky (and indirectly his brother) gets their revenge to one person from the other two movies who is one of the few that deserves to be “punished”.

This movie is guilty to be “Naughty!” and deservers a whack in the head.

Antichristmas: Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2 (Lee Harry, 1987)

I had real problems starting this review, mostly because it's a movie that completely lacks depth or meaning - but still, somehow, fascinates me. So I had to go to IMDB and check out the official page. I found something very important in the trivia section: 

"When Eric Freeman played the role of Ricky, he had a strong eyebrow movement in his performance. His eyebrows moves up and down in total of 130 times."

And yes. That's true. Because I've never seen a human being (or animal) move their eyebrows as much as Eric Freeman does, and thanks to the wonderful world of the internet someone made a montage of it:

So, but if we let the eyebrows go I can state two things:

1. Eric Freeman is a terrible, terrible actor.

2. Silent Night, Deadly Night OPart 2 is actually not that bad.

It was made to recoup some of the money lost after the first movie got banned everywhere and Mickey Rooney threaten to "run the scums who made this movie out of town" - at least until he needed the money and starred in one of the sequels as well. The first idea was to shoot a couple of scenes with a mental patient imagining that he/she did the kills from the first movie, but the storyline evolved and suddenly it was Billy's little brother Ricky (who's featured in the first film) who's gone mad after his brothers murder spree and now himself have become a killer. He recalls the story of his life to his doctor - both what his brother did and later his own murders!

This means the first 35-40 minutes is footage from the first film, with a wrap-around-story starring Eric Freeman. This works better than it would. Then it goes over to his own life, which have a couple of fun kills - but is less gory than the first adventure and then it takes another turn. I know some people wouldn't agree with me, but it's not boring. Freeman's terrible acting is quite fun to watch and the flashbacks (which includes stuff neither he or his brother was involved in and stuff where he was only an infant, so he has a very good memory!) looks quite good.

SNDNP2 is actually an extremely stupid film with some very good ideas. If you see it as it is, silly, you will enjoy it. Pity the flashback footage from the first film is the from the R-rated, more or less bloodless version, which would had made it even more entertaining. The build-up from the interview with the doctor, the scenes from the first movie, the new flashbacks and the final scenes which haves Ricky on a rampage is interestingly enough very evenly put together. Like it was meant to be this from the beginning. Which it wasn't, but sometimes even filmmakers have some luck. 

I can find any other things to write, sorry. This is silliness extreme, with exploding eyes and flashback-nudity. I have seen better, I have seen worse... but it's still a quite logical and fun sequel to the sleazy original trasherpiece. For slasher-fans only. Or for those who's seen it all and looks for a final idiot trip before the eternal sleep. 

Antichristmas: Silent Night, Deadly Night (Charles E. Sellier Jr, 1984)

When I first saw Silent Night, Deadly Night years ago I probably saw it cut. I found it to be an interesting movie, but quiet dry and not that much fun. I guess the quality wasn't that good either, which always makes a movie crappier than it actually is. Thank Satan for good-looking DVDs! Finally I've seen it uncut and in widescreen, the only way you should see a hunky serial killer slash his way through this awful jolly fucking good season! Silent Night, Deadly Night was a brave movie. It caused controversy directly from idiots - parents, celebrities, politicans and of course the worst of them all, movie critics. It even made Mickey Rooney, that fucking fat dwarf, to write a public letter condemning the movie:

 

Yes, the same Mickey Rooney later starred in Silent Night, Deadly Night 5: The Toymaker, where he plays a fucked-up old dude inventing toys to kill children during the Christmas season. But that's another story.

Young Billy witness his parents getting brutally murdered by a man dressed as Santa Claus. He ends up at an orphanage where he's abused by the nuns, who practices violence and threat to raise the kids. So of course he grows up to be a mentally sick, muscular jock with massive biceps and a cute blow-job friendly mouth. But he never uses it that way, so fuck it. After being forced to dress like Santa in the store he works in, and drinking a few too many drinks, he suddenly believes he is the bearded, jolly angel of death himself and starts chopping his way through the cast! 

 

What surprises me the most is how good and twisted Silent Night, Deadly Night is. It clearly, and deliberatly, steps over a few borders (who only can provoke Americans anyway...), lashing out to everything between Christmas itself, religion, fascist cops and child abuse. It has a lot of cheese, but still... it's a damn witty movie also. There's some very funny choices of editing, the cast is ranges from totally mega-sexy and talentless to butt-ugly and with great performances. The kills are all sadistic and quite bloody. I guess I'm not the only one noticing the wonderfully mean-spirited glee packed into the screenplay, which makes it a unique and darkly fun addition to the slasher-genre. 

Another fine thing is the set-up. Rob Zombie copied most of it in his remake of Halloween, with a slow build-up, showing Billy's childhood, the murders that sets everything in motion, the abuse from grown-ups - both physical and emotional - until Billy is read to kill and kill some more. It's a smart move and I think that made the backlash even stronger from the moral majority-parents and the not-so-smart movie critics out there. Even if Robert Brian Wilson is a bit stiff as Billy you care about him. I actually felt angry at the end when he didn't get a chance to fulfill his revenge fantasy to 100 %! That means something I guess.

I love Silent Night, Deadly Night. It's not a fantastic movie, but it's an awesome movie. Fun, gory, tasteless and never boring. 

Just Before Dawn (Jeff Lieberman, 1981)

At the end of Just Before Dawn you will witness the ultimate deconstruction of slasher movie stereotypes and it took Jeff Lieberman (Squirm, Blue Sunshine) to do it. As you can see he's not a stranger to quirky, original takes on otherwise quite common themes and it's interesting how he already in 1981 took the normal slasher and twisted it around a little. Not much to be honest, it's still a very basic backwoods slasher - but it's the details that does it. 

A gang of "teenagers" (or what they're suppose to be, hard to understand actually... especially Gregg Henry who looks as old as the sinister character he played in Brian De Palma's masterpiece Body Double a couple of years later) looks forward to a weekend of camping out in the mountains, but is warned by the gentle giant George Kennedy to not go up there. They ignore him and find themselves being hunted down one by one by a violent inbred killer with a huge serrated machete...

This doesn't seem much, I know, but the fact is that Just Before Dawn still is one of the best in the genre. It sure is very far from the most graphic and violent addition to the genre, surprisingly little for being from that time, but it lives on because of something more important: a strong cast and a tight script. The characters are among the most well-written (but it doesn't beat My Bloody Valentine, nothing does) ever in a slasher film, with some interesting complex relationships. Gregg Henry, as Warren, is the most interesting one, and if you haven't seen the movie you will never see where he's bringing the character. It's fresh and intelligent - and maybe mostly realistic. 

George Kennedy has nothing much to do, but makes the best of his underwritten part. I love him a lot, a fantastic character actor who happens to be very likable and naturalistic in his performances. If you want to see him blast through the screen as the mainstream, check out Edward Dmytryk's interesting revenge action/drama The Human Factor. Which proofs he can carry a whole film by himself. I've always wondered if Just Before Dawn was the start of his road into explotation valley. He did some pretty big movies in the 70's, but around 79-80 he drifted more into genre cinema and obscure foreign films and a couple of years later he was a staple in genre flicks like Radioactive Dreams, Demonwarp, Wacko, Savage Dawn, Creepshow 2, Nightmare at Noon, La bahía esmeralda (directed by Jess Franco), The Terror Within etc. Don't misunderstand me, that's what I love and respect and I've always been grateful for his work in horror and action. 

On a more shallow note, Just Before Dawn has one of the best end-kills ever on screen. It's so utterly surprising and bizarre, and strangely it works fantastic. The stuff that happens afterwards is also, while nothing visually spectacular, an amazing twist on the gender roles in horror movies. Sure, it has the typical "final girl" there, but there's more to that than just a tough broad. 

After a few mediocre releases Code Red finally delivers this classic on Blu-ray! The picture quality is excellent. A few speckles here and there, some dust, but very sharp and perfectly capturing the dark, moody woods. It's a true revelation! The only extra is the extended international cut, which supposedly fleshes out the characters and story a little bit. I've heard good things about that version. The quality is a bit more battered, but for us who have seen it on VHS and bad DVDs it's still something worth taking a look at. Which I will do some day.

Alright, I think you all should go either to Code Red or Diabolik and buy yourself a copy of Just Before Dawn, it's well worth the money and a true dream for the slasher aficionado. And you're supporting a small, crazy company at the same time - and that's a must in today's world. Support, send some love and support a little bit more. That's what I think it's the only decent thing to do. 

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American Nightmare (Don McBrearty, 1983)

When I visited New York a long time ago we lived at a shitty hostel somewhere on Manhattan. It had those long corridors, walls painted red and a thick disgusting carpet covering very corner - probably never cleaned - at least not in the last thirty years. Outside our room - which I guess was some kind of old one-room apartment - we had the view of a brick wall. During the night homeless people slept outside the door and we were constantly afraid of stepping in syringes. On the good side, you could get up on the roof pretty easy and had a fantastic view over the neighborhood. Here's one photo from the roof:

 

You can almost feel the breeze from the winged serpent Q here...

 

After one or two nights we just realized something was wrong - and yes, that was true. They've placed us in the wrong house from the beginning! Anyway, if you've seen the gritty locations in The New York Ripper, Vice Squad, God Told Me To (and about very other Larry Cohen movie), that's what we expericed live. Like a damn movie. Totally unreal for an innocent Swede and his boyfriend at the time (who later revelaed himself to be a cold-hearted bastard, but that's another story). That's also what makes the nasty Canadian serial killert thriller American Nightmare such a blast. There's only gritty location, whores, dark alleys and dirty kills set in a very bleak world. 

A young man, son to a rich TV-mogul, is on the hunt for his lost sister - who works as a prostitute deep down in the grittiest part of the town. When he finally finds her living quarters he realizes she's disappeared and now he starts to investigate what happen to her. At the same time a serial killer is on the loose in the city, killing prostitutes with sharp razor knife. At the same time he falls in love with a woman who might get her break-through in one of his father's TV-productions... but of course the unknown killer is getting closer and soon even she is in grave danger!

Released by Scorpion Releasing, this rare slasher/giallo-esque hybrid has eluded the audience for many years, but is finally out to a new generation of sleaze-fans. And I have to admit I dig it. A lot. I think I like so much because of the cheapness. Everything is probably shot on location somewhere downtown, Michael Ironside as the tough cop sits is something that not even resembles a real police office, and he - like several of the male actors feels quite disconnected both acting-wise and storywise to the rest of the show. It feels like a problematic production - and what I've heard it was on the shelf for two years before it was released - this doesn't stop it from being a fine and very sleazy and violent thriller who feels more like a giallo than a slasher, but with an dash of American cop drama - before realism and grittiness became "the thing" in US television.

While the gore and violence is pretty cheap - a lot of red paint smeared on skin from the edges of not so sharp knives - it still hits hard and it never comes off as silly. There's a lot of nudity for those who like that. I'm not one of them. It's quite annoying.

Not perfect by any means, but with the right atmosphere, American Nightmare is a damn fine piece of canuxploitation. Recommended for connoisseurs of well-made trash.

Back Woods (Grant Woodhill, 2001)

I can cope with most movies. Yeah, really. You who have read my reviews over the years knows I'm a very forgiving critic. I love when people make movies, just the thought of it gives me a rush of energy. So it's a pity that some people just takes a camera, goes out on the woods and think they can make a movie and actually sell it. 

That's the problem with Back Woods. On the back of the DVD the text brags "With the depraved mind of John Waters and the filmmaking talents of Ed Wood comes Back Woods". There' two wrongs with this quote:

1. John Waters is actually smart and witty. Not just depraved.

2. Ed Wood clearly had real talents. Don't compare you with someone who's way superior.

I know Back Woods is a comedy, a horror comedy. Or let me rephrase that, "comedy". I guess you meant to be a spoof, something to not take too seriously. Which is fine, I love that. I'm a big fan of movies like Wacko and Student Bodies, or Nothing Is Out There or Scream. Movies that poke fun at the conventions of slasher and horror cinema. But why the hell doesn't you care about making a real movie? Why not actually work with the camera as a storytelling device? 

The talents who made this movie just picked up the camera, pointed it at the right (eh, almost...) diretion and let some extremely unfunny and untalented actors improvise their dialogue. And why bother to make gore when you don't even bother to shoot it good? 

Back Woods is made by people who's ashamed of liking horror movies. Who's ashamed of making silly flicks on zero budget. Who's ashamed of themselves. To look bad, or to get bad reviews - becuse Back Woods is made in such a way that they can defend themselve: "Oh, it's made to be bad! It's a bad movie! Hahaha. We knew it all the time and you can critize us for that!". 

Morons.

I found Back Woods in the best little movie store in Stockholm, second hand of course, for a price of pocket change. But the thing is that the DVD is signed by the main actor, David Hayes (who has some kind of indie-career today, I'll admit that). Imagine you have a signed DVD, maybe something you got in person, and it's so bad you don't wanna own it anymore.

That's how bad, boring, humorless and pointless Back Woods is. Avoid. Or just seek up the filmmakers and give them a hard slap in the face. 

Kolobos (Daniel Liatowitsch & David Todd Ocvirk, 1999)

Thanks to the horrordorable Hollie, an American who fled to Norway for the sake of love and freedom, I was reminded of Kolobos - a now shamefully forgotten reality TV/slasher/surveillance footage movie from 1999. While far from perfect it's actually a fun, edgy and gory movie that deserves some more attention. Like most of you know, I love of my found footage films - and even more I LOVE mockumentaries. One sub-genre to this is movies set in a reality TV-enviroment (you can see a list at Letterboxd I once started but then abandoned). My Little Eye was one - and it got a lot more hype than Kolobos, and during later years Wrong Turn 2, The Task and - terribly enough - Halloween: Resurrection has showed us what filmmakers can do with the concept. But I wonder if Kolobos isn't one of the more interesting in the genre...

A bunch of young, hot people, gets cast in a new reality experiment. They don't know what's gonna happen, they have actually no clue about anything! But it's the usual bunch of freaks: the wannabe-actress, the mental girl, the good-guy, the bad-boy, the wild funny girl etc. After the director, who sits outside in a van, gives them intruction their exciting reality TV life can begin... but soon one of the girls starts seeing things. It's it because of her psychological state of mind or is there really some one lurking around the house. Everything is nice and happy until one of the contestants is killed by a terrible, sadistic trap! Seconds later the house is completely sealed and a killer - and his traps - starts to stalk them through the house... 

Kolobos is during some parts terribly cheesy. The actors are mostly - I won't say bad - but very "enthusiastic". There's no subtle acting, everything just chews the scenery, down to the last tiny piece of bone from the script. I kinda buy them anyway, because they're instructed to be entertaining, and of course they want to look good and funny and colorful on TV. I personally think Kolobos was a little bit before its time. If it was made today - and wrapped up a little bit less ambiguous - it would have gotten better reviews and become a bigger success. Because there's a lot of talent behind the camera in this film!

A lot of the visual inspiration seems to have been taken from the Italian film industry. There's references to Dario Argento and Lucio Fulci - at least two of the murders are direct (and very nasty) references to the two above mentioned gentlemen, the gore is so Italian it's awesome. No offscreen kills here, I tell ya! Very creative and well-made stuff, far from the quite bloodless kills that was made popular in the nineties (but I love nineties cinema, make no mistake about that!). There's a very gory eye-poking á la Zombie Flesh Eaters and the sadistic Deep Red kill looks painful! Just the way I want it.

The ending, the finale, is the biggest problem. You can never end a movie like that - or at least be a little bit more clear about it. Somehow it reminds me of Martin Schmidt's fun Danish slasher Sidste Time, which have a similar problem - but still manages to be very entertaining. 

For good or bad, Kolobos is still worth watching and buying and renting and whatever. I'm happy it found its way to my black, cold heart.