Schmollywood Babylon

Hi-8: Horror Independent 8 (various directors, 2013)

One thing I envy with the United States is the wild, crazy and totally independent movie scene then have over there. I don’t think any other country can rival when it comes to indie horror, from zero budget to a couple of millions. Not all of them are good of course, but at least people are shooting movies and learning all the time. The best school of filmmaking in my humble opinion. Here in Sweden we have a bunch of pretentious assholes pretending to be superstars. You can imagine how boring it is to check out the work of Swedish independent filmmakers who desperately trying to be as boring as possible.

I’ve been waiting or Hi-8: Horror Independent 8 for quite some time now, and finally it’s out on DVD in the US and I, of course, ordered it directly. Why? Well, I’ve always had a soft spot for director Brad Sykes. He’s a typical director of micro budget movies, shot on video, and release on small labels. But some of his movies have also been released outside the US, and hopefully this project is one of them.

It starts off like a really, really cheap slasher movie - probably a nod to Brad Sykes own Camp Blood trilogy. It turns out to be three 20 something kids shooting their own horror movie in and around an abandoned zoo. This turns out to be the wraparound story, titled “No Budget Films Presents...” directed by Sykes himself. We get to meet these characters between every part of the anthology, and their fight to shoot a really cheap horror movie even if the odds are against them.

The first episode out is Tim Ritter’s “Switchblade Insane”, which starts of in a disappointing way - a typical serial killer slashing away young chicks, until it toys with this idea and twists the concept to something quite fun and sick. Good acting and a nice pace makes this one a good start after all. Oh, and for you who enjoy boobs and sleaze: it delivers a bit of both!

But it’s Markus Koch’s “A Very Bad Situation” that really sets the the first bar. It begins with a suspenseful montage of meteorites hitting the earth. There’s something inside them, as we see from a fragment of a newscast. We meet a bunch of people who have barricaded themselves inside a garage, from what’s outside there. The question is of course if they’re safe in there… or are they really alone? Good gore, cool creature effects and overall a nice little episode.

Third man out is Tony Masiello with “The Tape”, a tribute to SOV filmmakers out there and the story itself reminds me of the excellent The Hills Run Red. This time a video store employee finds a never seen SOV horror movie and he decides (together with his not so interested girlfriend) to find the people behind his unknown classic: Bloodgasm! Of course nothing turns out as planned.

The fourth episode is "Gang Them Style", directed by Ron Bonk. And it might be the most commercial part of the this anthology movie. Wes Reid (he could be something, remember I told you first!) is RJ “Mongoose” MacReady, a self-made zombie-killer who have one mission: to get his mother at the hospital. Well and all her very, very slow friends. Some big laughs here and everything is very well directed and acted. Probably the best-looking episode also. My favorite of the bunch.

"Genre Bending", directed by Chris Seaver, is the title of the fifth episode. Initially I was skeptical, it looks cheap and sloppy...but after a while it felt like this was the meaning, because the comedy is charming and vulgar, the actors totally out there but genuinely funny. It’s a black comedy about stalking, but with a few twists. Liked it a lot more than I thought I would.

Todd Sheets gives us "The Request", a film that starts when a radio host gets strange calls, from someone claiming - he believes - to be his ex-girlfriend. The problem is of course the killed her one year ago… is someone out for revenge or is there something even more sinister going on? Good stuff, but I could have seen it a bit longer actually! I wanted more, which by itself is a pretty good rating I guess.

Legendary micro budget filmmaker Donald Famer of Cannibal Hookers fame gives us "Thicker Than Water", which begins like a normal shark movie (probably shot at the same time as his upcoming Shark Exorcist), and continues as a black comedy about a very jealous girlfriend! I fucking love the acting in this, especially from the woman - can’t figure if it’s Alaine Huntington or not - who’s insanely good. Good stuff!

Last but not least is Brad Sykes "The Scout", which actually is - according to me - one of the best works I’ve seen from Sykes. The location, the desert, is perfect for the small and horrific drama between a director and an actress, both out location scouting… and then everything gets twisted and really fucked-up! Good shit!

Hi-8: Horror Independent 8 is a great - and very cheap - little anthology film with a surprisingly amount of black comedy! I like that and so should you!

Escape from Tomorrow (Randy Moore, 2013)

I've always had a problem as a child to be happy when my parents - often just my mother - made me do fun stuff. Celebrating my birthday, going to the zoo or the circus...or spending a day at an amusement park. There’s not many amusement parks - or theme parks - in Sweden, at least compared to the United States. But I can easily put myself in Escape from Tomorrow, in it’s use of Disney Land and Disney World as a horrifying, shallow, fake, plastic background to the melodrama of a couple on the brink to madness. As you all know Escape from Tomorrow was shot guerrilla style in these locations, and the nerve-wracking tension doing that is present in the movie itself. But it’s hard to describe in words.

Jim (Roy Abramsohn) and Emily (Elena Schuber) have just arrived to Disney World, Florida, with their two kids Sara and Elliot. While admiring the view from the balcony Jim gets a call from his boss: he’s fired. Trying to cope with this he pretends like nothing and goes on a journey into the world of Disney, only to find himself trapped in a nightmare - hallucinations, more and more aggressive spoken exchanges with Emily and two french teenage girls who he starts to fantasizing about about. The longer they stay on the grounds, the crazier his visions gets - or are they just visions…?

I mean, I hate amusement parks. Not because they have clowns or whatever, its that they’re there to force humans to pretend to be happy and have fun. Nothing bores me more than fake entertainment, so even in movies and music. It’s easy to spot the emptiness in it, and it becomes even clearer if you look around and see all the stressed mothers and fathers, trying to cope with their kids unreal expectations - and their own feelings about spending one or several days in a place only constructed for them to spend money. All this is visible in Escape from Tomorrow, so is the heart-aching melodrama between Jim and Emily (Roy and Elena is perfect in the parts, and you can sense that their own stress shooting a movie like this makes them very, very spot-on in their performances. I guess there wasn't much time for several takes), which is something that is very real.

The movie goes of course further than being a relationship drama. Most of it is shot inside the amusement parks, with clever and sometimes horrifying changes made with digital effects to the countless plastic figures smiling at you. Along the way it blends this drama with sci-fi and kidnapping, darkness of the human minds - not only Jim’s and Emily’s, but several other characters. It might seem a bit done to tell yet another story about a middle-aged man loosing the grip on reality, himself and his family, but the acting from Roy Abramsohn puts the character in a spot where we really don’t support his pathetic erotic mind-escapades with teenage girls, we the audience is instead on the same side as Emily. Jim is a loser and he can’t help it, but it’s told through the eyes of someone - us - who can’t shake it off that’s his somehow a victim of his own decisions.

I don’t think Escape from Tomorrow is a perfect film, but there’s a reason for it. It’s shot in a way where it’s impossible to make it perfect, in secret on the property owned by one of the biggest entertainment companies in the world, a company which spells G R E E D. It’s shocking how much director Randy Moore and his crew got from their countless visits to the amusement parks. It’s brave, it’s very brave! If you’re familiar with history of the movie you WILL be on the edge of your seat not just because of the drama, but also because you know how close it was for the actors and crew to get caught doing this. This is not the first someone have done this. In 2002 Reflections of Evil was released, the brilliant and fucking insane drama by Damon Packard (please, someone, give him a couple of millions!). Parts of it was shot, if I remember it correctly, at Universal Studios in LA (I think, please correct me if I’m wrong) and he transformed one of the rides to a Shindler’s List ride, with Nazi tour guides and everything!

Doing what Randy Moore did is a risky move, because I found myself several times focusing only on the fact that they was shooting in secret instead on the actual drama, which I guess wasn't the purpose. Thankfully a great cast and clever storytelling hides the gimmick most of the times and gives us some stellar and surreal drama.

I’m not totally sure who the movie wants to reach, which in my opinion is a good thing. It creates a sense of instability on the life of the viewer; from the drama, the guerrilla-style film-making and deep inside, our fear of making a huge beloved corporation upset and sad, even if they don’t that sympathy.

Oh, and I hated amusement parks as a child. I couldn't stand them. Mostly because I could see how everyone around me acted. Happy Happy Joy Joy... or not. It's all fake, friends. All fake. 

Escape from Tomorrow is out from Njuta Films in Sweden NOW. Go get it.

Day of the Mummy (Johnny Tabor, 2014)

I’m drawn to bad movies like flies to cow shit. I’m not necessary saying Day of the Mummy is a bad movie, but every comment on the net hints at that and the presence of a tired looking Danny Glover just puts more wood on the fire. I’m also a huge fan of Dawn of the Mummy, the best photo models in peril-film ever made, at least together with Jungle Warriors and Ratman, and Day of the Mummy at least sounds like a sequel to Frank Agrama’s classic saga of zombie-mummies (so-called “zumies”) eating stupid americans. I’m also a fan of found footage films. This isn’t one of those, but 98 % of the film is seen from the Google Glasses-ish of the hero - so I hereby once again claim that “fake footage” is the best umbrella to gather all these productions under.

Jack Wells, listen to that name. Yeah, it’s a typical hero-name and this time it’s William McNamara (you know, who at a young age died a very violent death in Dario Argento's Opera?) who gets the honor of doing yet another Indiana Jones-esque character. We first meet him in bed with two chicks, but the entertainment won’t last long for him when Danny Glover (I call him that, even if he’s suppose to play a character he just is a very bored and uninspired Danny Glover) calls him and gives him a mission: to find a valuable stone (the Codix Stone), hidden in the tomb of some ancient Egyptian emperor who everyone - as usual - thinks just is a legend. To his help he gets these fancy glasses and Danny Glover constantly talking in his ear. They go to Egypt, puts together a team and then heads for the suspected site of the tomb...and find it, of course, and then they get stuck inside the systems of tunnels...and something, or someone, is in there… and is out after their blood!!!

Alright, what to say about this fucker? After watching so much dreck in my life I have a high tolerance level and I can understand how a movie was made and how it was meant to be. Day of the Mummy is a low-budget, cheap and not especially well-written (please let me write it next time, production companies out there!). But the nice locations, the likable cast and the short running time - under 80 minutes - makes it more entertaining than it should be. I like all movies set underground and Day of the Mummy have it’s fair share of running in underground tunnel, ducking for falling stones and strange mystic tablets with cryptical hieroglyphs carved upon them.

That’s sometimes enough for me.

While the budget makes the movie suffer, it’s clearly just a cool tunnel they’ve found somewhere and it’s has very little Egyptian artifacts or cool sets for example, the pace when they finally find the tunnels and tomb is pretty good and it ends up with an aggressive mummy who both looks very cool and very corny at the same time. Like the dude in Amazing Stories episode Mummy Daddy (but that mummy looks scarier when thinking about it….) or maybe the cool sequence in Anthony Hickox’s Waxwork. I just wish they’ve spent some time giving us more gore. It’s not completely bloodless, but it’s far from what you expect from a modern horror/adventure movie.

The worst thing is actually Danny Glover. He’s a good actor and seems to be a fantastic human being looking at the work he does on the side, but here...oh boy, he’s BORED out of his mind. He just saw the script, realized he could shoot the scenes in a few hours, maybe in his own home office, and that’s it. Take the paycheck and leave. The thing is that his character, like it is now, isn’t really needed. He’s just annoying staring at us from the bottom left side of the screen, feeding the hero with empty dialogue and grumpy old man shenanigans.

I gotta give it to the filmmakers; it might be stupid, silly, sloppy...but Day of the Mummy is an entertaining, unpretentious romp. With or without Danny Glover.

St. Helens (Ernest Pintoff, 1981)

From TV-maestro Ernest Pintoff comes St. Helens, just a year after the actual incident inspiring the movie. What incident you ask? VOLCANO! Yes, St. Helens in Washington state erupted in 1980, killing a bunch of people and fucking up the environment around it for quite a while. This is also one of the few disaster films I haven’t seen - until now of course. Why? Because it never seemed that interesting, too serious maybe. Not enough spectacle for this these eyes. But when I found a weird (and cheap and ugly) tin box released by a subsidiary to Shout Factory I decided to finally give it a try. To my surprised it was less drama than I expected it to be, and that’s a good thing when it comes to this genre.

It’s based on - for the most time - on real characters, and in the center of this drama is the intelligent, smart and kind geologist David Jackson (played by David Huffman, who a few years later got stabbed to death by a screwdriver by a thief) and the assholish, stupid old man Harry R. Truman (Art Carney), who for some retarded reason refuses to leave the mountain when it’s about to explode. You hate him within minutes, I promise that. There’s also some local hotshot, played by the great Albert Salmi (who later shot his wife and committed suicide), who think it’s more important to allow people to camp around the volcano than to save everyone’s life, a stock character in disaster films. Well, what more to say… it’s a very standard disaster drama, but not without its merits.

But REALLY… Harry R. Truman? Was he the same stupid asshole in real life? And who can anyone who want’s to die a terrible death in a volcano eruption just because he lived there his whole life be considered a hero? He didn’t seem to be suicidal either, which could explain some stuff - and I can understand that. No, this old man just walks around being rude, mean and then dies. After Art Carney’s good performances I kinda think he deserved it. I’m not sure that was the intention. But then we have David Huffman, who’s a real star in my eyes. His performance is excellent and you really, really, really care about him. In supporting parts we see a few other excellent actors, for example Tim Thomerson, Bill McKinney and Superfly himself, Ron O’Neal!

Even if the special effects is quite bad - and mixed with stock footage and some stills of the actual eruption - the disaster towards the end becomes entertaining and is edited well. It’s one of those films where the ambitions was higher than the budget, to say the least. What I really appreciated with St. Helens is the regional feeling, the atmosphere of being a smaller film shot with local people. It’s not, but that’s how it looks. There’s always something special with those miles and miles of deep forest, beautiful lakes, unexpected fist fights, checkered shirts and pickup trucks raging on small countryside roads.

But the coolest thing with St. Helens is that the score is by Goblin. Yes, the Italian progressive rock band mostly famous for their horror films. It's not a bad score at all actually, especially when they get a chance to show off those drums and basslines! 

For a disaster film aficionado this is a must to own, but BEWARE...don’t buy the same release as I bought, from Timeless Media Group/Shout Factory. They actually released a version where EVERY “bad” word (like shit, ass, fuck etc) is bleeped out! Yeah, it’s a fucking TV-print! Scandal!

Howard the Duck (Willard Huyck, 1986)

Howard the Duck was maybe the coolest movie I knew when I was a kid. It’s not that today, but it’s far from as bad as people say. Instead it comes of as a quite offbeat, strange mainstream movie made by someone who have no clue what’s funny or not. That’s not necessary a bad thing, I dig stuff when it’s a bit awkward, when something is not in place. I’m not really familiar with the character Howard as a comic book character, and the second time I’ve seen him was in the Guardians of the Galaxy cameo. Which was fun, because that movie have a similar atmosphere as this film - except it’s a lot better and a LOT funnier. But I’m not gonna spend this review bashing Howard the Duck, instead I’m gonna focus on the good things, stuff that people tend to forget over time.

Howard is a duck who lives a relatively quiet life on the planet of Duckworld, until the day he’s sucked out from his apartment by a strange beam and brought to earth, right in the darkest alley possible. After a couple of first shocking moments at the planet of hairless monkeys, he meets Beverly (Lea Thompson), who with her band Cherry Bombs tries to make the big time. It’s not going well, but after Howard takes care of her sleazy manager life seems to go in a better direction. But he miss home and when he gets a chance to be sent back - through the same beam that brought him there - he says yes… but something goes terribly wrong; a horrifying being called the Dark Overlord enters their life, and he wants to bring more of his friends to earth! Only Howard and his friends can stop him!

You can’t deny the legendary status Howard the Duck have. It’s still a pop culture phenomena, not necessary because everyone think it’s good, but because it’s so bizarre. Me? I think it’s a good movie. Flawed, but extremely well-made and with a certain edge I dig. My boyfriend Gregory had never seen it - it’s a scandal, I know - but he expected something more family friendly, something more lame. But Howard the Duck have a weird mix of very adult, often sexually related humor, and childish shenanigans. The character of Phil Blumburtt, a charming and scene-chewing Tim Robbins, is right out from a typical American family movie - he could have been a character somewhere in Honey, I Shrunk the Kids! or something like that. Lea Thompson’s Beverly is more mature, intelligent, from a teen oriented dramedy and the you have Jeffrey Jones who’s downright scary as doctor Walter Jenning, who happens to get posssessed by the Dark Overlord! Howard himself is a cocky, self-proclaimed hero - but never too asshole-ish. Not saying I would like to spend time with him on a deserted island - I would probably make stew of him sooner or later!

The script is pretty thing, but fun characters make it work all the way through. The monster-part comes in like an afterthought, when it probably could have continued as a pure surreal, wacky and crazy comedy about Cherry Bombs and their new featherly manager. I’ve read some complains about the special effects in Howard the Duck, but to be honest: they look great. The duck-suit is quite impressive and life-like, even if those cold blue Donald Pleasence-eyes on Howard can be disturbing. I’ve read they spent 2 million dollars on the duck, and it obviously works. The visual effects, the matte paintings and the stop-motion monster at the end looks cool and gives a very comic book feeling to the film, which is a damn hard thing to do.

Anyway, I really like Howard the Duck. I think it’s a fun film - which could have used a lot more work on the script, which is where the problem lies: it just lacks depth. The characters and their goals are fun, but never makes you care to 100%. Maybe it’s time for a new adventure? I’m in, I will watch it. Wouldn’t you?

Whore (Ken Russell, 1991)

Many times I’ve been asked who my favorite filmmaker is, and oddly enough I never mentioned Ken Russell. Why is that odd? Because every time I’ve seen one of his films I’ve loved them to the degree I’ve felt they’ve changed my life. The first one was Crimes of Passion, which I actually think my father and his partner rented when it came and I happen to see it with them, later I bought it on tape and then on DVD. Where’s the blu-ray? Come on! Give it to me! And then we have Tommy, The Girlfriend, The Devils, Lair of the White Work, Trapped Ashes and so on… but it wasn’t until the other day I watched Whore for the first time.

We follow Liz (Theresa Russell), a sarcastic and not that stupid prostitute in her daily work as the “employee” under the evil and disgusting pimp Blake (Benjamin Mouton), who consider him to be a protector of his girls...but instead is just another violent, abusive man. During her nights on the streets she befriends the weed smoking Rasta (Antonio Fargas), who doesn’t want to have sex with her, just be her friend. Around this storyline is a series of smaller stories, some just a minute or two, others a bit longer. We meet customers, friends, family and cops - and we get to see another form of prostitution than what we saw the year before in Pretty Woman.

And what I’ve heard Ken Russell did Whore as an answer to Pretty Woman, and to quote The Los Angeles Times, August 19, 1990: “This is not going to be 'Pretty Woman.' It is not glamorized, it is unglamorized. This will be the gritty version of a whore's life.” ... "I think the male ego is going to suffer quite a shock.". And he’s true. This film speaks directly to those who have a glamorized view of prostitution and maybe most of all to the men who buy women for sex. I just need to close my eyes and see the carpet pulled from under the feet of certain men. Many times Liz, and Blake, speaks directly to the camera. In Liz case it’s to say it like it is. She’s not trying to either defend what she’s doing or put the blame on other people. It’s all about society, and what’s wrong with it. Blake on the other hand one time after another tells us what all abusive men think, that these women does it because they can’t do anything else, that they need men to survive, that they are oversexual etc etc. The same nonsense as usual. Rasta comes of as a pretty decent man, even if he’s crazy. He smokes his pot and enjoys life as much as possible.

But don’t worry, as usual there’s a lot of humor here. Whore borders to a black comedy, with some fantastic set pieces providing us with a dry, British sense of humor. Ken Russell himself shows up as a snarky waiter and there’s a lot of interesting cameos along the way, for example Jack Nance and Ginger Lynn. Oh, and an early part by Danny Trejo! Whore is an absurdist comedy mixed some pretty sharp drama. Theresa Russell rules this film, she’s perfect and delivers her monologues with an unique sharpness, often echoing the stuff Kathleen Turner did in Russell’s Crimes of Passion (aka China Blue), but doing it her own way. Their characters could be siblings actually, but in opposite ends of the red light district.

If people now could understand that humans aren’t merchandise this world we live in would be a lot better. But I doubt it will happen any day soon...

The Toxic Avenger (Michael Herz & Lloyd Kaufman, 1984)

My relationship with Troma have always been ambivalent, but I think the reason I’ve stayed away from them for so many years was because they once promised me a guided tour at their office and when I was in New York they just ignored me and I never even went there. Tough love. Anyway, when Monsters of Film screened Return to Nuke’Em High Volume 1 in 2013 I re-discovered them again and felt I was back on track for some good, bloody and very, very, very silly entertainment. The thing is that I’ve always had a problem with filmmakers trying to make movies as bad as possible on purpose, but Troma and Lloyd Kaufman just is in a different league. They’re real exploitation compared to the new retro grindhouse films we’ve seen more and more of the last years.

I’m not sure if The Toxic Avenger was the first Troma film I saw, it might have been Class of Nuke’Em High actually, but it must have been on tape, either a crappy bootleg or a cut version - or even, if I remember it correctly, on one of the earlier movies only channels in Sweden - Filmnet or TV1000. I loved what I saw, it was over the top, crazy, fun, deliberately silly and very open-minded. In Tromaville everyone have a place. Everyone is equal in their own far-out way. And The Toxic Avenger - Melvin himself - is the man who defined them all.

Melvin is a happy and obviously mentally challenged cleaner at Tromaville’s trendiest health club. But is appearance provokes some of the better-looking clients, those with muscles and nice, fluffy hair, and they stage a cruel joke on him. After fleeing in panic from the sheep he’s set to make out with he crashes through a window and lands in a truck filled with radioactive waste! In the shelter of his home he transforms into a hideous mutant, a muscular superhero with a deadly mop and a pink ballerina skirt - and ready to take down every fucking corrupt baddie in Tromaville!

There’s no question about it, The Toxic Avenger is a great, awesome film. It’s also sports the thinnest script in history! But that’s fine, because it’s made with so much energy, passion, love, whatever you call it - so it’s easy to just sit back and enjoy it. What I totally forgot was the insanity of it - really, it’s extreme! It could have been made by brother who have ADHD, there’s something all the fucking time! The script is written with so many jokes - words or visual - it beats Hot Shots 1 and 2 together. But what strikes me the most is the anarchy, the competely fucking anarchy of it all. This is made ignoring the basic rules of storytelling, good taste or bad taste, it’s just a very unique and hyperactive positive mess of entertainment.

Every actor acts like their life depended on it, and with that I mean chewing the scenery. Which fits the movie perfectly, because there’s nothing subtle with the production. In a way these actors, and the filmmakers, embrace us, the viewers, in a big dirty, bear hug of foul language, obscene body movements, head-crushes and love and it feels real. For fucking real. How often do you feel that when watching a movie? Very rarely I would say… Getting back to the head-crushes, it’s also extremely gory, bloody and with so much splatter I’m surprised it came out in 1984. It feels more like a really, really, really good new movie trying to copy what they think eighties splatter would look like. I can’t say all the gore is well-made, but it’s made with enthusiasm - and I always appreciate movies where nothing is happen off-screen. Herz and Kaufman handles the direction well and I’m surprised how much they got the actors and extras to do, because there’s things going on in this film you never seen before and after (well, maybe in the sequels but I have no memories of them - time to change that!).

So what’s the best way to watch The Toxic Avenger? There’s really only one opition and it’s the brilliantly remastered blu-ray from the heroes at 88 Films (that's a link to their online shop!) in the UK (part 2 is out and on their schedule is part 3 and 4, very nice!). It looks absurdly good and is completely uncut what I can see. Included on the disc is also a Japanese cut in lesser resolution, not sure what the difference is. One day I guess I will take the time to watch that version to!

The Toxic Avenger is a feel-good movie for the splatter-generation and a milestone in genre cinema.

Sabotage (David Ayer, 2014)

Yeah I know, it’s weird I’m writing about Sabotage, a super-mainstream movie directed by David Ayer and starring Arnold Schwarzenegger. So I understand if you turn away and do something else instead of reading this. But Sabotage has something, something that tickles my imagination. One this is true though, I lost interest in Arnold the same second he turned his career towards politics. I can buy he’s a republican (many of these old farts are) and he’s gay-friendly, but there’s a huge difference between killing people on film and for real, like Arnold have done by approving death sentences - one of the biggest signs you’re a primitive human being. I don’t care if that was his job, but if he was so powerful he wouldn’t have done it at all.

So fuck Arnold. Now he’s out of the politics and I’m trying, slowly, to see if I can appreciate his work. I was mildly entertained by The Expendables, part 2 had a good beginning but sucked… and part 3, well, I just ignored it and watched The Asylum’s Mercenaries instead - a lot better and less conservative and more intelligent.

Arnold is Breacher, the leader of a DEA task force who decides to steal 10 million dollars from a drug cartel. They blow the rest of the money to smithereens, but then discovers someone have taken the millions they stole...who? The drug cartel? One in the team? Soon they find themselves in really big danger when someone starts to kill them off one by one, in gory, graphic fashion!

The story goes Sabotage had a really difficult way to the big screen. The original cut is said to have been close to three hours long, focusing more on the mystery and whodunit-aspect of the story, with a different ending. The studio thought it was too little action and too much downbeat drama and ordered reshoots to make it more commercial. Didn’t help, it still bombed at the box office. I’m pretty sure it would have attracted a bigger audience and gotten better reviews if they kept it the original way. Reshoots aside, it’s still - believe it or not - a good, close to great movie. There’s several reasons for this, but lets start with the flawed characters.

I love not-so-perfect humans on the big screen. Perfect, super-action-macho-men, bores me to death. In Sabotage there’s not one single perfect human being. Everyone is very quite sad, broken, humiliated and paranoid. It’s getting to close to white trash in a couple of the characters, which is awesome. One of them is also an alcoholic, and it’s not the movie star alcoholic - this feels like the real deal, and it’s terribly tragic to watch. Even Arnold is pathetic in away, mourning his family who once was killed by the enemy, but trying to hide those feelings.

As stated above, they’ve shortened the movie a lot, but it still feels more like a very violent thriller than an action film - thank you! The mystery is quite good, the kills is incredibly gory and violent, the shoot-outs is packed with squibs...everything shot in a realistic, gritty way without going shaky cam. Yeah, I dig this flick so much! Not sure I will return to Arnold, but if he makes something like this again it might happen. Give it a try, it’s not bad.

The Bedroom Window (Curtis Hanson, 1987)

Steve Guttenberg. Just mentioning that name is controversial. So I’ll do it again:

STEVE GUTTENBERG.

I can’t say he’s some kind of acting-genius, but is he really SO bad? I think he’s pretty decent in The Boys From Brazil and the first Police Academy isn’t bad. It’s just destroyed by all those billions of sequels no one asked for. So fuck that and take a look at Curtis Hanson’s The Bedroom Window, a forgotten thriller from the glorious eighties where Guttenberg obviously tried to break free from the Police Academy trap.

There’s something wtih eighties (...and nineties) thrillers that attracts me a lot. The quality of the scripts was often excellent, even when it was cheap low budget productions. There was more focus on good acting, complex characters and twists than spectacular action, and more than often they felt like American giallos. The Bedroom Window is first of all a top notch thriller standing on it’s own legs, but it owes a lot to Alfred Hitchcock with it’s simple yet brilliant set-up…

Guttenberg is playing Terry Lambert, a quite successful man in the middle of his career who’s having an affair with a married woman, Sylvia (Isabelle Huppert). One night she’s looking out the window of his bedroom window (get it, that’s the title also!!! ;)) and witnesses a pale man attacking a woman. He sees her and escapes, leaving the woman bruised but alive. Sylvia don’t want to be revealed having an affair and Terry takes on the role of the witness when he hears a murder happen 30 minutes later - probably by the same man - even if he never saw the initial attack, just to protect Sylvia! During the investigation he gets to know the woman, Denise (Elizabeth McGovern) and slowly falls in love with her. But soon everything becomes a disaster and the supposed killer goes free...and now Terry is accused of being the killer!

Yeah, you can see for yourself, this IS a very Hitchcockian thriller, complete with the wrongfully accused man conducting his own investigation, starring a charming and irresponsible guy who needs to keep his dick in his pants. I’m not sure you can label this as an “erotic thriller” (my fave genre, as you might know), but it’s damn close and you even get a chance to see Guttenberg’s ass. That’s weird. I mean, it’s friggin’ Steve Guttenberg! I actually like him a lot in this film, he skillfully keeps a balance between a slightly humoristic approach and one where he realizes he’s digging his own grave with all the lies. There’s a fantastic courtroom scene where a defense lawyer, played by the always brilliant Wallace Shawn, completely rips Gutttenberg apart by trashing his statement. Excellent writing.

But the main thing is the budding love story between Guttenberg and McGovern, which I think was one reason Guttenberg took the part. Their chemistry is wonderful and McGovern is great as usual, doing a fine and complex part - throwing in some nice comedy also. The killer, played by Brad Greenquist (who looks like disturbingly freaky Tintin and also is extremly sex IMHO), is another highlight. He totally owns every scene he’s in.

The Bedroom Window might suffer from a boring title, but it’s one of the best eighties thrillers I’ve seen so far. It’s classy, well-acted, packed with tension and written intelligence and passion. A must see for those who need to go back in time for an old-school thriller.

Village of the Damned (John Carpenter, 1995)

John Carpenter is not only one of my favorite genre directors, he’s also the favorite genre director of more or less everyone else who have the slightest interest in horror films. His career has so far also been very even - even if some people would like to argue about that - but just look at what he’s done, even the worst movie is pretty high up on the entertainment scale. I even love Ghosts of Mars (and I think many are with me on that nowadays, it’s been re-evaluated since it’s initial release). I’ve been planning to review The Ward for quite a while now, but that’s also a film which still boosts the amazing Carpenter-quality but instead lacks of a very bad ending, which kinda makes it less attractive to watch again. But back the movie of today, Village of the Damned. I remember I saw it on tape when it was released in Sweden and instantly forgot everything about it. So is it so weak? I popped in my new blu-ray recently to give it a spin, and maybe see it with adult eyes…

During a normal day in the little town of Midwich something happens, sending everyone into a black-out - some of them dying in accidents related to this. When they finally wake up the town is surrounded by military, press...but no one knows what's going on. Well, until some time later when they discover every woman in town is pregnant! In a fit of conservatism everyone decides to not make an abortion, and nine months later a ton of super-smart, white-blonde babies are born. As they start growing up the more weird they get, manipulating and destroying - and killing! In all this we follow the honest doctor Alan (Christopher Reeve) and the child his gave birth to. He’s not the only one suspecting this can be more serious than they ever could imagine, and he decides to come up with a plan to stop it all!

Oh, that’s one of the crappiest recaps I’ve written. I hate this part of reviews. It’s just… I don’t know, it’s the only thing I often skip when I read reviews on other sites. If I was smart I would just write it like this:

A small town is shocked to discover that all women have become mysteriously pregnant. Heroic doctor Alan (Christopher Reeve) decides to investigate and take the matter into his own hands.

But NOOOOOOO. I’m too stupid. Anyway, as a grown man creeping closer to forty I appreciated Village of the Damned more than when I saw it during the nineties, but it’s still Carpenter’s weakest films. There’s a few highlights here and there - I always loved the barbequed man for example - and the cast is very nice, from Reeve to Kirstie Allen as the government doctor keeping secrets from him. Other Carpenter veterans like George “Buck” Flowers and Peter Jason makes the movie even more enjoyable. Mark Hamill plays a priest, in a quite underwritten role - but he’s good, and Michael Paré of all people have a very short-lived role - too short actually.

I like parts of it. The small town atmosphere reminds me of the small town in In the Mouth of Madness, the first part is actually very good - even if it’s a bit too TV-esque. It also lacks the creativity of Carpenter, and feels very ordinary. It turns for the worst in the last half where it goes on and and on with scenes which feels very uninspired and boring. The finale is okay, but after a boring 45 minutes before that you’ve lost interest in the story and the characters. I have very few memories of the first movie adaption from 1960, but I think this story is ripe for a new version soon. Carpenter didn’t deliver what we’ve expected from him here.

But if you’re a John Carpenter aficionado it’s a must see, of course. Just don’t expect something out of the ordinary.